The realities of paying for M/C

RetiredTeacher · March 27

I'm wanting to hear from those of you who have been down this road and are ahead of me on this journey. We are still maintaining at home for now. I would like to keep him home as long as he isn't violent or wandering but I a realist and know I need to have a back up plan. We aren't rich but both have pensions and SS. The house is paid off and we have some invested. For those in a similar boat, did you spend down your investments, take a home equity line of credit or reverse mortgage??? We had planned so well to leave something for our kids....now that doesn't seem likely. We just redid our trust, updating all the docs. I dont see what a CELA could provide since we are not going to medical eligible, even in the future. How have you picked the lesser of all the evils to liquidate assets to pay for MC??? I'm hoping we won't need to do this but not all of us will get an early exit and I need to formulate a plan in the event it gets more than I can handle. Knowledge is power and I would appreciate the knowledge and experience of those who have had to make this difficult choice.

RetiredTeacher · March 27

charley0419 · March 27

I’m in NJ just changed my deed to my name only , which was told by Elder Care rep could do once wife goes on Medicade. I have a Reverse mtg about 4 yrs now and they can’t touch it and guessing once time comes will do pay down I have a 20,000 balance that I’ll pay with funds I have so I’ll really be getting back the money as a RM is a loan and if you have bills or loan you can pay them with your funds with the amount your allowed to have to get Medicade. Don’t have a pension just SS and a small amounts of stocks. My attorney said to take money now before 5 yr look back and you can pay it off with your own funds. Reverse Mtg are not cheap now as when I got 4 yrs ago fees about $10,000 now close to $18,000 my rate 2.5 -8 highest I pay. Now I’m guessing starting at least 8% now. I used Finance of American Tom selick haha

CindiEC · March 27

I am using the money we saved and invested when we were working. Have enough to pay for a few years of my husband’s care. He went into a MC facility two months ago. He is in late stages. I kept him home as long as I could but even with a caregiver 25 hours per week, I could no longer give him the care he needed.
Good luck to you. It is so hard to go through losing your LO and also deal with everything else.

Carl46 · March 27

My CELA explained how our investments can become income to me, by buying an annuity, and therefore not counted in computing my wife's Medicaid eligibility. Our home isn't countable so long as I live in it. All that would be countable would be my wife's SS and annuity. So, for example, if care costs $7,000 and her income were $5,000, Medicaid would pay $2,000. That's in Missouri, your State may well be different.

I have not placed my wife yet, but I have talked to a CELA about what to do when and if. I strongly suggest you talk to a CELA in your State before you make any financial decisions. A consultation could save you tens of thousands (or more).

SDianeL · March 27

I would still talk to an attorney. Everyone’s situation is different. There is a five year look back at your finances so a reverse mortgage might not help if you have to place your LO within five years. You mentioned updating your trust but is it now specific to long term care? You are so right that you need a plan. You never know what the future holds for you or how the disease will progress. Please keep this forum posted as it will help others.

RetiredTeacher · March 27

Thank you all for your responses. I will make an appt with a CELA, take our trust and financial docs to see what they say. Knowledge is power and I do need to understand what options I have. I will post an update when I get more info. Thanks again for your candor.

Beachfan · March 28

I’m a little late to the discussion, but DH and I were both retired teachers. (PA). Prior to his passing in April 2023, he was at home with me for 11 1/2 years and then spent 17 months in a memory care facility. We were financially comfortable with generous pensions, Social Security, debt free, with savings and investments. We worked with a CELA some years ago and were able to avoid probate when DH passed. DH’s 403B was distributed directly to the kids, and some deeds were changed naming the kids as potential owners. When DH died, his memory care facility cost $6200 a month. I had been able to pay his bill using his Social Security and pension and occasionally a slight dip into savings. I doubt that we would ever reach Medicaid eligibility because we were financially secure. Two years later, I am fine financially. I didn’t have to spend down or get rid of anything in order for him to stay at the memory care facility. I know I am lucky to have come out the other side of this disease unscathed; not everyone has this advantage. I hope you are able to find an acceptable solution to provide the best outcome for both you and DH.

Bluebird · March 28

I’m glad you are going to see an Elder Law Attorney. Every state has different laws for Medicaid eligibility and CELA specialize in the laws for your state. They can give you a game plan. A regular attorney may not know all the specific laws for Medicaid eligibility.

When you run out of money Medicaid will take over the cost of your loved one’s care, if they are in a nursing home. They will not pay for Memorycare nor Assisted living. If the memory care is attached to a nursing home sometimes Medicaid will take over the cost of the care.

My biggest worry was what was going to happen to me if all our money went to my husband’s care. I found this site that gives Medicaid eligibility rules for nursing homes and protections for the spouse. Hopefully it will give you some peace of mind. Every state has different rules so click on your state to see their rules.

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/state-specific-medicaid-eligibility/

upstateAnn · March 28

As soon as my DH was diagnosed three years ago, I talked to our finance guy. Now that MC is on the horizon, I am happy that I can cover it. Oue children did not flinch when I said there would probably be no inheritance. They said you educated us and loved us, what more do you owe us?

Still, it is staggering that I am looking at spending nearly a million dollars over the next seven or eight years.

Daughter of a Marine · March 28

Just adding my two cents - My DH was placed in MC last July. I did see a CELA who recommended against the Medicaid Compliant Annuity since if something were to happen to you during its term, any amount remaining would be surrendered to the state vs. your beneficiaries (not sure of all states but true in the state of Illinois). So I am dipping into the funds we saved during our 56 yrs of marriage that we thought we'd be spending on fishing trips and leaving to our 4 children. When funds are depleted we'll be applying for Medicaid. He is in stage 6d, extremely confused and agitated and at times combative (so unlike the kind, jovial person he has always been). This journey is torture and I'm so sorry you are a fellow traveler. You are both in my prayers.

The realities of paying for M/C

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