Visiting new Dr with Mom

otfgirl750 · April 5

we are going to our first Neurologist appointment with Mom and I wanted to get thoughts on how this could go. I feel like there is a lot we need to communicate to Dr so she has the full picture but I am sure Mom will not communicate. Do they typically meet with patient and then caretaker after as well? We have medical poa. Anyone experienced this?

harshedbuzz · April 5

There are any number of ways this could go. I'd call the office and ask how the initial appointment is structured.

Dad was seen at a university memory center with a multidisciplinary staff. They took him back for pencil and paper assessments while we met with the doctor to share what we were seeing. Then the doctor met privately with dad, then we all met together to go over next steps.

Dad's PCP and geripsych did not offer us a chance to discuss without dad during the appointment but we were able to communicate on the patient portal or via email. During appointments, I always sat behind dad in the sightline of the doctor which allowed them to allow dad to answer questions while I non-verbally indicated whether he was reporting utter nonsense. Dad had anosognosia and could not appreciate the ways in which he was impaired which made him an unreliable reporter.

If you won't be seeing the doctor alone, write a bulleted list of concerns to hand at check in with the request that the doctor look at it before coming in to see you.

Good luck.

HB

H1235 · April 5

I would strongly recommend using a patient portal to communicate concerns and observations with the doctor before the appointment. I didn’t do this at the first appointment (I had not been to this site yet and had no idea what I was doing). It was a difficult appointment, because mom was upset/angry to hear my concerns and then the diagnosis. In fact her neurologist asked mom’s permission to include me on her patient portal and made the changes right then. A letter or note to the doctor may also work. I went in with mom and we talked about concerns. Then they took her for an hour or two of testing. After that we both went back to the office for results (I was told sometimes results are given at a separate appointment). I have attached a staging tool that lists a lot of symptoms. It helped me recognize things I had no idea were even symptoms. I hope it goes well.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6372d16ea4e02c7ce64425b7/t/63f7b80d80d8aa3e3aa4a47d/1677178894184/DBAT.pdf

otfgirl750 · April 6

thank you for the advice, very helpful

CaliforniaGirl-1 · April 8

Do you have at the medical PO? What worked for us was setting up a call or going through the portal and saying, "I don't want to ask you anything you can't tell me, but I have things I have observed that I feel are relevant and questions I would like to ask you to answer to the extent you can." This was important because my LO would periodically refuse to allow us into the room and forget or misremember what the doctor said, and would also call and cancel appointments.

If you have a medical proxy and it is activated then you can probably set up a call. (Which you or. your LO's insurance will almost certainly get billed for.)

Visiting new Dr with Mom

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