She’s forgetting me.😢

Bettyjeansbaby · April 6

My mom lives in Delaware. Near my sister and her extended family. I live in Georgia. We lost our oldest sister 2 yrs ago and an older brother 7 yrs ago. That leaves the two of us. I’m 62. My sister is 66. The other day my mom told her Dr that she had 4 children but only has one surviving child. (my sister) My sister explained to my mom that I’m still very much alive and we all talk often. And I have an upcoming visit planned for May. Mom didn’t have any reaction to that. Like my sister was the confused one. Anyway, I’m a retired long term care nurse so I’m experienced with dementia patients. I just didn’t think she would live long enough to get to this point. I was thinking about my visit next month and I realize that even if she knows me when I’m there, she likely won’t remember me once I leave again. And that’s why I’m writing. The thought breaks my heart. Don’t tell my sister but I was always mom’s favorite. The baby usually is. We used to talk about how she loved all four of us but “we” had a connection. My sisters were very career oriented. I had a career but my family was first. I wanted to be a mom like my mom. Now she’s forgetting me. How do I deal with this?

dayn2nite2 · April 8

You may want to find a therapist who is familiar with the various dementias and treating family of those people to learn coping skills for this part of the disease. Unfortunately, this is part of the process and even I, who was a daily presence in my mother's life, was "forgotten" at some point after I left her and honestly she did not remember my name or my relationship to her somewhere around the middle of the disease. It's an unpleasant fact and happens much earlier than most people realize. You also have the challenge of being at a distance. "Favorites" don't last with dementia.

She’s forgetting me.😢

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