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17 Months in Care

ems_pilot
ems_pilot Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
I'm sure this has been discussed... my wife has been in residential care for over 17 months now. Her main deficit is short term memory loss. Incontinence, doesn't walk. Predominantly in bed except for hospice showers, there is sooo much more to this. She was a registered nurse, bright, still sweet in so many ways. I see her every day, I just wonder if I'm doing everything possible for her. (She was never officially diagnosed except 'dimentia'. Would like to chat with others. I host a once a month dimentia support group in my community but it's mainly sharing experiences...

Comments

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 95
    100 Likes 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 10 Comments
    Member

    Please come here to chat with others. It is a great space for that. You are doing a great job. From your post I can tell you are present, attentive, and concerned. She is lucky to have you.

    "When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?"

    Thich Nhat Hanh

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 937
    250 Likes Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    This is a great place to share: challenges, victories, funny or sad stories, advice. Really anything, as we're all in this together, and we have only each other to discuss it. Family and friends have their places, but they often do not understand the boat that we're all in.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 222
    250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    My wife has been in MC for a year and I know it is what is best for her and for me, because I couldn't be all that she needed at home. I still have guilt over moving her there, but that is because I have always took care of the problems and have a hard time remembering that is still what I am doing. I am having professionals help with things I can't do. You may be like I am in that my job has always been to fix the problem, and it is hard to except this can't be fixed. I think you and I are doing all that we can do even though it feels like we should do more. From what I have read it may be helpful to know what type of dementia someone has in the early stages for medication, but once it has progressed more it really doesn't matter anymore.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,523
    500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    As caregivers we all feel we should be doing more. That’s human nature when you love someone with this disease. You are making sure she is well cared for. You have Hospice on board to add another layer of care. You have a caregiver support group. You are here reaching out. You have done all you can. She’s fortunate to have you. 💜

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 434
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Other than visiting, you've done about all you can.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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