Home care, will this work or not ?

Sophietucker · April 29

Through this journey I have realized several things . 1 . Don't set your expectations high . 2 . Throw out everything that made sense to you at one time . 3 . Seek as much help as you can . 4 . Last but not least stop feeling guilty when you didn't succeed in getting your loved one to do any of the things that come with everyday life . Well tomorrow the home care aid is arriving and hopefully with a couple of visits I will be able to have some relief . Keeping an open mind and praying that my wife accepts this help because I sure can use it !

Timmyd · April 29

I wish you success with home care. We have a had it for a couple weeks. The time away makes me realize how bad I let it get before finding help. My DW accepts the help. The question is can the help put up with my DW. It feels like a lot to ask of someone making $20 an hour.

One of the many difficulties of this disease is that you put in a lot of effort to find something that "works", but you cannot relax for a moment. Soon it will no longer "work" and you will have to find something else. It feels like the reward for success is decline. Getting used to that has been hard.

lenbury · April 29

I have had a healthcare aid coming in for 4 hours weekdays since November and it has made a huge difference. It gives me a much needed break.

SDianeL · April 29

tell her the help is for you not her. That may help. Hope it works out. Keep us posted. 💜

SiberianIris · April 29

My mother, who is in Assisted Living, did not like them at first, but she does now. We started with someone a few hours a day for a few days a week. As her needs increased, we increased coverage. It did not take long for her to bond with her caregivers. On days when I'm there, she'll ask "Why didn't xxxx come today?". She also makes comments like "I don't know what I would do without xxxx".

The agency has been really good about finding a good personality match between caregiver and mom. Sadly, some really good caregivers have to move or change jobs, and then they send a new person, which means going through another adjustment period. As mom has progressed in her disease, her adjustment periods to the new caregivers are easier, but they are still hard for me.

Home care, will this work or not ?

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