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Meeting her in her reality doesn't always work.

Schilder64
Schilder64 Member Posts: 8
First Comment
Member
in Caring for a Parent

Most of the time when my mother says things that aren't true, I can just go along with it and meet her where she is, but how do you handle it when she doesn't recognize my father, and wants to know who the man in her bed is? Or asks where her husband is when he's right there with her. Any advice would be appreciated!

Comments

  • blueheron
    blueheron Member Posts: 5
    First Comment
    Member

    I tell the truth and say it’s me, your wife. DH may not believe me, but it usually quiets him down.

  • AmandaF
    AmandaF Member Posts: 34
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Likes
    Member

    My strategy in that circumstance was to say “hm, I’m not sure where he is, let me look around” and then try to distract her in some way. The delusion would pass at some point.

    I also read somewhere that talking on the phone to a person uses a different part of the brain (that isn’t susceptible to delusions in the same way), so you could have her call your dad while he’s in a different room, and that might reset things. Sorry, I know it’s really hard on everyone when this happens.

  • Schilder64
    Schilder64 Member Posts: 8
    First Comment
    Member

    Thank you both for your suggestions! I didn't know that about the phone and the brain, so I will definitely try that. Thanks for the support - it helps.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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