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Advice please

julia mac
julia mac Member Posts: 1 New
in Caring for a Parent
My mu. Has just been moved to retiment living, as we thought it would be better for her having people around to sit with through the day. The problem we have she is awake most of the night and going out of her flat and knocking on everyone's doors until some one answers. She gets upset and feels lost. She is not using the toilet and peeing in a jug or a bowl, we have signs on the doors and I have been awake all night talking to her to make sure she isn't going out disturbing her neighbours as they are all getting upset with her.

It took me half an hour to explain where her fridge is so she could have milk for her tea.

I can't do this every night.

Comments

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 864
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    Member

    Welcome. It sound to me like she needs a higher level of care. If she can’t find the refrigerator, what is she going to do if there is a fire. Peeing in a bowl??? I’m not even sure she would meet the qualifications for assisted living. I would start looking into memory care or a certified nursing facility. Sorry I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear.

  • hiya
    hiya Member Posts: 119
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions First Anniversary
    Member

    maybe you could hire an aid for a week just to try and acclimate her to her new environment and also stay on a night to try and get her on a schedule. If not, I think @H1235 is right.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,788
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    Member
    edited April 30

    Define your version of retirement living? Is this an active over 55 community, independent living, assisted living, or memory care. I’d she can’t find the refrigerator or use the toilet, she needs memory care. Where there is staff 24:7 to send her back to her room at night if she is wandering from room to room.

    In addition. Contact her doctor and ask for medication that will help her sleep at night.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 52
    10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    It does sound as though a higher level of care will be required. My stepmother also wandered at night and pounded on other people’s doors in assisted living; after trying some options, her family moved her to memory care.

    I agree with others that we may not understand what you mean by “retirement living.” What kind of facility is she in?

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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