Anosognosia Challenge

WIGO23 · April 29

This is just a vent. I am NOT asking for advice or tips. But I would like to read about your experiences with this caregiver challenge.

My DH with mild/moderate dementia thinks the meds he takes will cure his “small” issues. While he admits to some short term memory loss, he rejects my determinations that he should not take walks alone; he should abstain from using power tools; he should not climb on ladders and so on. In other words, if I make a decision that something he wants to do is too risky for him, he summarily dismisses it because he feels nothing is wrong with his thinking.

I know his “reasoner” is badly damaged but he truly does not. I find this very challenging. Do you?

trottingalong · April 29

Extremely challenging. My DH was a hardwood flooring contractor from the old days of nail down floors, sand and finish. He’s always been handy at making and fixing things. Now everything confuses him, but he still wants to help. I’m lucky in one sense that he has lung issues and can no longer climb ladders, that was scary. He has reached the point of not using his power tools any more, I even hid the chain saw.

l7pla1w2 · April 29

DW was a college professor for 30 years. She thinks students and faculty might want to come to the house (where she imagined she worked, rather than an office elsewhere) for her instruction and guidance. The problem is, she has virtually no short-term or long-term memory. She doesn't remember where she worked, what her field was, where she got her PhD, where she went to college,… You get the idea. She is completely oblivious to the fact that there's no way she could help anyone, but she desperately wants to be helpful in some capacity.

SDianeL · April 30

yes very challenging and frustrating for the caregiver. The challenge is how do we protect them when they don’t have the ability to know they have dementia.

CharlieS · April 30

Same here, WIG023. I find it challenging, frightening, maddening. My DH was diagnosed with MCI in February 2024. Though he’s still pretty much “with it,” he drives me nuts with all the things he’s doing and not doing these days. I’m trying to negotiate this new normal, but I find myself getting angry and feeling frustrated. He moves things where I can no longer find them, and then forgets where he’s put them. He rearranges things in the kitchen and I have to put them back where they belong. There isn’t one particular thing he does that is so bad, it’s just the culmination of the things throughout the day! On top of the memory issues, he has anxiety issues as well. Picking his skin, toenails, fingernails to the point of bleeding. I’m going out of my mind.

l7pla1w2 · April 30

Treasure hunt! Try to find where DW put something. She will even ask about it and assert that someone must have stolen it. Most common: glasses, wallet, keys.

She no longer does things "the way we've always done it" and says we've never done it that way. She no longer puts things "where they belong." It's very frustrating to reach for, say, the scissors, only to discover they're not there, especially since DW was using them just minutes ago.

These behaviors can be really frustrating if you're obsessive about order and organization. That's doubly true if your partner was formerly equally particular.

hiya · April 30

We were in the heights of this stage a few years ago….and as far as things going missing/misplaced, still are!!! I found this particular stage hard, very frustrating and it made me think how long can I do this. My DH loved power tools and I was a nervous wreck when he used ladders. I never found a solution and eventually it passed. Our ladders went ‘missing’ and he couldn’t figure out the tools. Hang in there. Feel free to go in your garage and scream…I did this with frustration. Find a place to hide important things, eg, my computer has never been found. I wish we were not in this club.

WIGO23 · May 1

I read so many of your experiences and emotions that mirror mine. Thank you all for sharing. Just knowing that someone else really understands helps!

cindie-san · May 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241976#Comment_241976

I have the same issues. I just need time for myself.

cindie-san · May 1

I feel a little better sharing💙

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241945#Comment_241945

I’m embarrassed to share that if we go to a place to eat I feel the need to tell them he

has dementia. He thinks he acts normal. He doesn’t have a filter😱👍

Dmarcotte · May 1

You are not alone. I finally spoke to my husband's doctor at his last appointment about my concerns . After the appointment on the way home my husband turned to me and said, "Are you sure it isn't you?"

I was not prepared for that, but since that time have realized that he has no idea at all how much his personality has changed. I don't imagine he ever will understand.

We just do the best we can each day.

Anosognosia Challenge

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