Struggling with Refusals for Doctor appointments

CassLoftis · April 28

DH has become livid and screaming and throwing things when I notify him of another appointment. I have been very conscience of limiting the unnecessary appointments, but this time it is the Neurologist.

I am sure it is partially fear, but I do not know how to help him feel like it will be OK and the doctor is there to help him.

Has anyone found any tricks to get them to agree?

charley0419 · April 28

my wife to this day , it’s 3 yrs, hates to go. I found I can’t tell her till day of appointment less time for her to be upset. It all has to do with not liking the simple questions he asks her that she’s unable to remember. Telling time is a challenge and I never ask. But that’s only dr that upsets her

Timmyd · April 28

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241865#Comment_241865

My DW blood pressure was off the charts whenever we saw the neurologist. At her PCP, dentist, and at home blood pressure was normal. I don't understand why he continues to "quiz" her. She hates it. When I asked him what was point was of challenging her cognition years past diagnosis he said we don't have to come anymore if we don't feel we are getting anything out of it. I always got the feeling at the neurologist that DW was a research subject more than patient. It was always a pain to get that appointment anyway. We are now looking for a PCP who has a specialty or at least is very familiar with ALZ.

mikeswife · April 28

I simply got to the point that I didn’t tell him. I just said we were going to run errands and we would get ice cream when we were done. That got him in the car at least. Of course he recognized the building as a medical building. He would be angry when we got there but at least we were in the parking lot and it’s better to have him mad then instead of days before.

Old Iowan · April 28

Any chance you can help him believe these appointments are not only for his good but for the benfit of escpecially you and any of your children, Grand-kids, close friends, etc.? Kinda help him feel he's doing it for the good of others as maybe opposed to just because he has to go see a doctor.

RetiredTeacher · April 28

I have struggled for past 7 yrs to get DH to the dr. We chased a diagnosis for 10 mo through Kaiser, Drs, tests, MRIs only to get diagnosis of MCI and twisty colon. 2 strokes, 2 vascular surgeries later, he has now been diagnosed VD but refuses any further cognitive testing and refuses to go to a neurologist. He still is capable of deciding and I cannot convince him it is beneficial. There's not much that can be done to change the final outcome, I'm tired of fighting and the PCP is wling to work with us for palliative care. I finally gave up and know it's really in God's hands. Good luck to you if you can get him to go. It wasn't worth the fight for me.

SDianeL · April 29

is he on anti anxiety meds? That may help. The best doctor to manage anti-psychotic prescriptions is a Geriatric Psychiatrist. I would stop seeing the neurologist. They can’t do anything anyway. I would get a referral to a Geri Payche doctor and not tell your DH what type of doctor they are. Don’t tell him you’re going. make up a fib like It’s your doctor, it’s a doctor the insurance requires or something like that. Promise to go for ice cream after. If possible speak to the doctor before the visit and explain he gets agitated easily.

Arrowhead · April 29

It depends upon his mental state. You might be able to get away with lying about where you are going if he forgets what you told him. I just never told my wife where we were going, and she went along with it.

Chris20cm · April 29

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72898/struggling-with-refusals-for-doctor-appointments

much like others, I learned early on that DW would have a meltdown over any appointments, Dr, dentist, eye doctor, mammogram, beautician. So I don't put the appointments on our refrigerator calendar anymore, or sometimes I will

Add it an hour before time to leave. She is in late stage six, so when we get there I just act like it's just what we had planned. Her short term memory is non-existent now. Also, her Seroquel medication eases the paranoia and hostility.

charley0419 · May 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241869#Comment_241869

you make a very good point I never thought of , why do we go to Nurologist as there really isn’t much he or anyone else can do, just ask her things that always get same results and upsets her I’m truly going to think this further about going. He does prescribe two meds , do they help have no idea. It’s suppose to slow down process but everyone progresses differently.

t210 · May 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241875#Comment_241875

My DH also has had vascular/cardio problem this year as we have walked through diagnosing his MD.

He had 4 heart stents placed last August and the following month had our neuro-psych followup for the results of the 6 hour testing eval of July! Left that appointment with recommendation that he no longer drives!! That’s been very difficult for him to process!

He has 1 more exercise session at the hospital cardio rehab program!!! Then 2-3 times weekly at our gym that is MUCH closer.

My hope is that we can start doing more FUN things on days we do not commitments😉

Karl38 · May 2

I have the same problem as many of you. My wife hates any kind of health appointment and I think it's because she can't answer many of the questions they ask. She is relatively healthy so if I can't get her to agree to a normal checkup appointment I drop it. If she has a problem she will agree to an appointment so we go. Otherwise I don't fight it.

Struggling with Refusals for Doctor appointments

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