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Mom has a brain hemorrhage and is in critical condition at a local hospital. She is going to die before my dad. He has step 7 vascular dementia and he will accept the fact that Mom died? Geeze, both parents with life threatening conditions. I'm medical POA and need to make the ultimate decision. This is so hard.

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  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 144
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    I am so sorry that you have this to deal with.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 1,060
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    I’m so sorry.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,787
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    I’m so sorry. It’s so hard when it’s both of them. My step-dad died 9 months before my mom.
    Your dad may accept it,or he may not… or at stage 7, he may not understand it. If it happens, tell him once and then fib if he asks again. No point in having him start the grieving process repeatedly.

    As to the medical POA, just try to figure out what the least painful process is combined with the most likely outcome of any process… the answer will become clear to you.

  • mpang123
    mpang123 Member Posts: 268
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    I'm already getting problems. My sister and her husband want to take all of my mom's possession when I'm supposed to give them to my nephew only. As POA, don't I have the power to stop them from taking my mom's stuff. They're going to contest my competency of being POA. My poor dad has no clue what's going on.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,787
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    You have that power until she passes. Then it would be the executor of her will.

  • mpang123
    mpang123 Member Posts: 268
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    QBC, thanks for reminding me that I can prevent anyone to take Mom's property. Since I'm POA. Family will be upset because mom didn't leave anyone to be beneficiary except for my nephew. He's the executor when Mom dies.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,521
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    so sorry. Do the kindest thing for both of them. Your Dad won’t remember you telling him about your Mom. Tell him once and then fib. That’s the kindest thing you can do so he doesn’t grieve over and over. Praying for your family and for your strength. 💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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