Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

My mom refuses help

ChristinaD25
ChristinaD25 Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring for a Parent
My mother has been in decline for about 10 years, probably, but we’ve only just started to notice major decline in the last few years. My mother refuses to get diagnosed and has been very stubborn with regard to accepting help from anyone other than her husband. And even with him she pushes back. Self-care has deteriorated and her health is a concern because she doesn’t eat and she refuses to take vitamins or anything else. She will not even let me come into the house to help clean. We are a fairly dysfunctional family on our best days so coordinating care has been difficult. Her safety is my number one concern at the moment. And I’m not sure where to start considering she will not talk about her memory loss and she often does not even let me in the house because she’s afraid I’m going to scare her cats. This forum is wonderful, however I would like to find an online support group where I can speak to someone in real time.

Comments

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,523
    500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    there is a toll free number on this website you can call to see if there is an online support group. There used to be a link under support but I don’t remember where the link is. I would try fibs and tricks to get her diagnosed and help. Fibs and tricks are our best tools. Tell her Medicare requires she see the doctor. Don’t tell her what for. Talk to the doctor before the visit. Tell your Dad to tell her that he needs help with light housekeeping. It might be better to hire help rather than you provide it. As you know trying to reason with her doesn’t work. Her reasoner is broken. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search for Tam Cummings videos for caregivers on YouTube.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,523
    500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    here’s where you can search for support groups https://www.alz.org/event-search?category=Support+Groups

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories