Father driving me CRAZY

Mav2126 · May 15

My father has early dementia with no short term memory. He is constantly asking me over and over to help him with the computer. He is driving me batshit crazy. It is so annoying and I can't take it anymore. He doesn't know what he is doing on the computer and every time I suggest a way to make it better he just keeps going back to his old ways which don't work! Arrrrggghhhh. Help!

SDianeL · May 16

so sorry you are going through this. His memory and reasoning ability is gone. No amount of telling him will stick. Maybe it’s time to “disappear” the computer” and create a fib. Tell him it’s broken and in the shop. You will have to repeat that over and over and over tho. He won’t remember that either. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Search for Tam Cummings videos online. Learn all you can about the disease so you can help him. Being a caregiver is tough. Come here often for info and support.

Mav2126 · May 16

Thank you so much for your response. Every bit of support helps. Perhaps i should try and redirect him to get him off the computer and doing something else that doesnt drive me crazy.

SiberianIris · May 16

Computers and smart phones become dangerous for people with dementia, especially if they have online access to their financial accounts. Poor decisions and/or scammers could wipe them out.

If it were me, I would trade out the regular computer and smart phone (saying they broke) and substitute with the Grandpad. It's designed to be easy to use for seniors with dementia. You can control who they can connect with, what they can do on the internet, etc.

I don't have personal experience with it or any financial interest in it, because my mom was already too old to ever be interested in computers or smart phones when they came out. If she had even the slightest experience with with them before dementia, I think she would've enjoyed the Grandpad.

http://grandpad.net

eaglemom · May 18

Your father wants to be able to use his computer, but as you can tell, he clearly can't. So to not continue to frustrate the both of you, you need to find something else for him to do. What is it he wants to do on the computer? Play games? Look at the news? Or check his bank account? If its check his bank account you've got other problems to address.

DH and I are in a program where Grandpads were being used. They were great for daily Zoom meetings. Easy to use and understand. If you hit the wrong button nothing bad happens, unlike a real computer. I think they are great devices.

Take a deep breath and realize he isn't trying to make you crazy and he probably isn't even aware he's making you crazy. That in and of itself shows you he just needs help.

eagle

KnitHappens · May 22

my mom does well with notes (she even writes them for herself and they are EVERYWHERE). Maybe writing a step-by-step list of what to do to turn on the computer might help. And tape the list to the computer so it stays where it is needed. You might want to make copies as sometimes even the taped notes disappear. We also removed apps that mom wasn't using and left a list of directions to access her favorite websites (that list has shrunk) Wishing you well as you navigate these changes in your parent

Father driving me CRAZY

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