Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

DH with dementia keeps saying he is scared.....

Palmetto Peg
Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 251
250 Care Reactions 100 Likes Third Anniversary 100 Comments
Member

My DH with dementia - I think late stage 5 or early stage 6, keeps telling me that he is scared. He will actually be shaking with fear sometimes, but he can't tell me what he is afraid of. I reassure him that I am gong to take care of him, but he is still frightened. It happens sometimes when we are walking down a hall and he will stop completely and try to turn around and go the other way. Is he hallucinating and seeing things that aren't there? How can I help him? He takes Abilify and clonazepam, but many of the other meds that might help him are out because he has a cardiac condition that they make worse. I feel so helpless and so bad for him! Thanks so much for any suggestions!

Comments

  • Gator1976
    Gator1976 Member Posts: 27
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
    Member

    our psychiatrist took my wife off Abilify as it has too many bad side affects and put her on Prozac.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,808
    2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Care Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    His brain is broken. He can’t trust what he sees or thinks. He can’t take care of himself. He’s afraid because he doesn’t understand his world. My mom was like that - always anxious and depressed. We had to experiment with medications. Settled on sertraline and mirtrazipine. When she went on hospice ( and found out she was on it), she got scared again. The hospice nurse added generic Xanax.

  • ​fesk
    ​fesk Member Posts: 502
    Legacy Membership 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    If there are any mirrors or pictures of other people that might be frightening him. He may no longer recognize himself in the mirror and think someone else is there - pictures of people he no longer recognizes may have the same effect. As always, if it is a new behavior rule out a UTI or other medical issue.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 1,061
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments
    Member

    Have you tried sertraline (zoloft)? When my sister was around that stage, she frequently told me that she was afraid in much the same way that your DH does. She could never tell me why, only that she was afraid. Her doctor recommended sertraline, and it helped for quite awhile. I don't know if sertraline is harmful to people with cardiac issues.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 860
    500 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Peg, I understand your feeling of feeling bad for your LO. I feel the same for mine.

    In Stage 5, my wife said she was afraid she was losing her mind and afraid she was going to die. Since these weren't delusions, we didn't attempt to medicate but I reassured her I was with her. In Stage 6 in MC, she is distressed that she doesn't know where she is and doesn't know where she is going. Zyprexa and sertraline help with agitation, but her distress at her inability to think clearly remains.

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 251
    250 Care Reactions 100 Likes Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Member

    I will talk to his doctor about the Abilify and ask about Sertaline. He took that in the past, but they took him off it when they started the Abilify. I don't know about Zyprexa, but I will look it up. It is just so sad to see this strong, confident man become afraid of things that aren't there. I want him to have some peace, and it is hard to find for him. I'm spending more time with him to try to provide reassurance, and I know he feels better when I am there. I think he probably does know in some way that he isn't the person he was. I'm going to have him look in the mirror today and see if he knows who he is looking at. If he doesn't, I will ask the staff to cover the one in his bathroom. They don't have mirrors around the common areas, and I guess that is why. Thank you all for your input!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more