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Disarming Mom

mandajean
mandajean Member Posts: 14
Ninth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
Member
in Caring for a Parent

My mom is I’d say stage 5/6 she has declined so much in the year she has lived with me. She is verbally aggressive, secretive and lurks trying to listen to conversations. Today I found her in the kitchen garbage with the tv remote in one hand and a pocket knife in the other stabbing in the garbage. I asked her what are you doing? She said nothing, I’m looking for something and she immediately slid the knife in her pocket. I asked her where did you get that knife and she yelled ”It’s mine” then said”I got it out of my purse” I turned around and noticed she had dumped her purse out on the table (I had no idea she had a knife). I asked her to give it to me and she pushed by me and said NO. And she put it in her purse, I picked up her purse and she grabbed it back….well that escalated…..but I was able to get the knife. I probably could have handled it better but in the moment I needed that knife she had just been stabbing garbage.
I am completely alone in her care. So there are no breaks from the crazy things that she does .

Comments

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,476
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary
    Member

    Hi mandajean - definitely tell her doc about this episode. There are meds that can dial back that agitation and aggression without being zombied.

    If you ever feel that she is capable of harming you, do call 9-1-1 and have her taken to a geri-psych facility. They should be able to get that under control and on proper meds.

    Please look into adult daycare for at least a few days a week so that you can get a much-needed break!

  • Anonymousjpl123
    Anonymousjpl123 Member Posts: 829
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Second Anniversary
    Member

    I called that hotline at least 3 times when dealing with my mom in the beginning and they were SO helpful. This is exactly the stuff they can help with.

    Sending you strength and the energy to get through this.

    Most important: seek out help. You can’t do this alone. Hotline is a great place to start because it’s free and they know what they are talking about.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,103
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    good job getting the knife from her. Please lock away any others in the kitchen. Immediately contact her doctor for anti anxiety meds. She’s not deliberately making the choice to be secretive or to listen to conversations. She can’t reason. Her reasoner is broken. She has anxiety which causes aggressive behavior.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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