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The most heartbreaking moment yesterday

ghphotog
ghphotog Member Posts: 704
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My DW is stage 7, she hasn't been able to do anything for herself in years. She has to be hand fed, rolled over ever two hours, she's skin and bones and everything else that comes with it. She is in MC and I visit her everday to make sure she's comfortble, warm, hydrated. . .
Because of the type of dementia she has, LBD, she hallucinates a lot.
They had put her in bed for the afternoon. She's hallucinating and talking to imaginary people, then she starts crying, sobbing and out of the blue comes "How did I get this way"?
What and extremely heartbreaking moment for me.

Comments

  • Gator1976
    Gator1976 Member Posts: 42
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    So sorry to read this. I’m just beginning (stage 4-5) and hope she doesn’t go that far. My DW was her mother’s caregiver for 10 years. So, we know what’s ahead of us.
    I hope you have a DNR so that God can take her when he’s ready. GBY

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 238
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    ((HUGS))

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 5,202
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    That's a hard thing to think about. . I lost both my mother and sister to Alzheimer's and my husband to vascular dementia. . My mother was in a NH and passed away during the night. When I went to the NH when they called me, the nurse said she was sorry mother passed away alone but was glad she didn't live to the point she was in a fetal position and couldn't eat. I have thought about that statement many times since then and totally agree.

    .My husband was not to that point but I know that he is now free of any pain and confusion of dementia. I have to think that about all three of them. So sad for me but better for them. It is very hard to lose a loved one.

    I'm glad your wife is getting good care. Be with her all you can, let her know you're there and tell her you love her. They may know more than we think. Prayers for you and your wife.

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 439
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    {{Big hug}}

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 408
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    My heart grieves for you and your DW. It’s so sad, you think the pain couldn’t get any worse and it does. Hugs to you on this lonely journey.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 646
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    Heartbreaking for both of you. (((HUGS)))

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,686
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    so sorry. 🙏💜

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 144
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    So heartbreaking, sending ((hugs))!!

  • CassLoftis
    CassLoftis Member Posts: 8
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73137/the-most-heartbreaking-moment-yesterday

    I am so sorry for you. That is very hard. Please be gentle with yourself.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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