Moving mom from AL to MC

otfgirl750 · May 22

this day is going to be so hard. We need to move mom up to MC. She has been wandering and walked out of the building. It is now a safety issue and we need to do this but it is breaking my heart. I don’t know how to navigate it all and how often I should visit after. I currently go twice a week and sibling goes twice a week. Should we cut back as she adjusts? She will be in the same building, just on different floor so not sure how difficult this will be for her

sandwichone123 · May 23

I hope this went well for you and your family. I would expect that she doesn't notice much if the layout is about the same. She may be frustrated at first that she can't wander as much, but may not notice that as much as you might expect either. Just the move shouldn't adjust your visiting schedule—visit as often as works for you and for her.

ARIL · May 23

There are different schools of thought about visiting: some people will tell you to stay away to aid adjustment; others say to visit more to help adjustment! I think it all depends on what you think is best. Trust your instincts. I agree that the move to MC is not a reason to change your routines.

I visit my parent in MC five or six days a week, and also take them out for outings. It works for us but wouldn’t for everyone—and may not for us as the disease progresses.

Anonymousjpl123 · May 25

As others have said, it really depends on the individual. I went nearly every day when my mom switched from AL to MC, and in hindsight, it was a mistake. She eventually had to change to a different place and I went less - maybe 3-4 times a week - and it was a lot better (for both of us). But again, it depends.

Hopefully your mom will find a routine. Mine has and it has made ALL the difference. She’s doing well, all things considered. You know your mom best. Trust your gut. But fair warning: it will be hard, this is all hard, and my mom’s transition was hard. It is partly the change and partly just the realization that the disease has progressed. Wishing you and your family an easier transition.

otfgirl750 · May 27

Thank you for the comments, I have decided to keep my visit routine and so has my brother. For us this is best. The transition is not going well. She is social and she just hates the change as many of the other residents sleep or are non verbal. Not convinced this is right for her but I do know she needs our visits. Oh how I wish she had not started wandering

harshedbuzz · May 27

@otfgirl750

I'm sorry she's not adjusting quickly. It's hard when a PWD is in that stage where they need the safety of a secure facility but could still benefit from the social engagement and activities of AL.

My aunt lived in a CCRC that offered all levels of care. When my aunt was at this stage, they came up with a flexible hybrid for her. After breakfast and getting ready for the day in MC, she moved to the AL for lunch and activities. She often had dinner there before moving back to the MC side. For a long time that arrangement worked really well. Perhaps your mom's facility would be open to trialing this?

Good luck.
HB

dayprov · June 1

We moved my mom from AL to MC about 2 months ago and I'm SO GLAD we did. While the move itself was hard (we had to downsize her things and physically do the move when she wasn't in her old room), the peace of mind I now have is 1000% improved. Even though it was hard for her to have to change locations, her memory loss is to the point where she doesn't really remember the old place, or the best friend she had in AL. The memory care floor is "locked down" so we thought she would try to leave, but that hasn't happened at all. The "good thing" about her memory declining is that what seem like losses to us aren't really losses to her since she can't remember them. Most importantly, it was clearly the best thing for her safety and health. She's gaining weight (because she has someone reminding her to eat), she hasn't injured herself (because she no longer has access to the lobby's coffee pot, etc), and there are more eyes on her.

Moving mom from AL to MC

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