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My MIL is getting worse

Xena Sewell
Xena Sewell Member Posts: 1 New
in Caring for a Parent
My MIL has dementia and is now starting to forget to eat, and isn't really taking care of herself. My SIL lives with them, but it's more like lives "off" them and she is NO help! I've noticed my MIL losing weight and not looking as put together as normal. When do I know when the time has come to get her more care. She refuses Dr and refuses to admit she had dementia. So we are in the beginning stages. I'm at a loss right now. Any help is appreciated

Comments

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,814
    2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Care Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    Now is the time to get her more care. Her current situation. Is having a negative affect on her - the weight loss. It’s also possible there’s more to it than just forgetting she’s hungry.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 79
    10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Agreed that she needs more (and different) care now. FYI, she is unlikely ever to admit she has dementia (search for “anosognosia” on this site), so that can’t be your goal. Getting her into a safe living situation is. Wishing you well. I know this is awfully hard.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 891
    250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    Welcome. I agree with the others, it sounds like it’s time. There should also be concern about the sil taking advantage of her ( I think there is one in every family). Dementia is costly! It is during the early stages that financial problems arise (scammers, family moochers). It’s probably time to think about taking over finances. I would definitely start thinking about a plan B. Assisted living facilities can have waiting lists. Does anyone have a durable power of attorney? This is important and I would recommend seeing an elder law attorney about legal matters as soon as possible if not already in place. Any mention of dementia or symptoms will probably be met with resistance. I would recommend you pose the doctor visit as a routine checkup. Then use a patient portal or even just a letter dropped off at the office to explain to the doctor your concerns (with examples). Has she been officially diagnosed. There are treatable conditions that should be ruled out. Good luck.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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