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Taking away her car

alizem813
alizem813 Member Posts: 2
First Comment
Member
edited June 5 in Caring for a Parent
Help! I am having trouble taking away car from my mother . She started swerving in lanes, and ignored the driving rules constantly . She recently crashed into a parked car and that was enough for us to say no more driving for her :( tried hiding keys, she went crazy. Tried taking away the car, but she keeps asking every second (we say it’s at the shop because it doesn’t work) but she forgets and starts looking for her keys or car crazily. Not sure how to make this transition :(

Comments

  • alizem813
    alizem813 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member
    The car is at my house with a cover for now. But not sure what to do .
  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 964
    250 Likes Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    If you need to, disable the car so she cannot start it, or sell it. You can say it's "in the shop." They're "waiting for parts—you know how it is these days—these things take forever." She'll be upset for a while but is likely (not guaranteed) to forget about it pretty soon. With my dh, he would talk about getting a new car, so I showed him some nice ones and the prices completely convinced him that a new car would not be in the cards.

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,429
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary
    Member

    Hi alizem - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

    Taking away driving privilege is one of the hardest things we do, but so darn necessary! Agreeing with sandwichone to disable the car.

    It took a while for MIL to stop fixating on it, but she 'knew' there was something 'wrong' with it so she couldn't use it. She had admitted she got lost to the hairdresser's once. After we had removed her from the road, she admitted she got lost more than once, and also came to an intersection and forgot what to do. (wow-dang!) So glad you are watching out for her and being aware of her no-longer-safe driving. Yeah, it is hard!!

    it is 'at your house', so is mom living alone? If so, please make sure finances are in order, as well as important paperwork of DPOA and HIPAA accesses.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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