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Defecates on himself, refuses to shower

Cat K
Cat K Member Posts: 20
10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Husband defecates on himself and refuses to shower. Even with Depends a stain will come through. I cannot get him to shower. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't take much more.

Comments

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 174
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions First Anniversary
    Member

    I'm so sorry. I don't have an answer other than trying some medication. Are you considering placement?

  • Cat K
    Cat K Member Posts: 20
    10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
    Member

    I don't know what to do. He takes Rivastigmine, Memantine and Risperidone. I can't force him to shower, but I'm the one who has to clean his bottom because he can't do it himself without getting it everywhere. I'm just so tired of living like this.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,252
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions 1,000 Likes
    Member

    One of the reasons we placed dad was because he wouldn't submit to care provided by my mom. His anosognosia was such that he believed he was showering at least twice a day with fresh clothing each time. He got much better care from staff at the MCF because he saw them as professionals.

    Teepa Snow has some great showering videos on youtube.

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 98
    Sixth Anniversary 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments
    Member

    I have a bida and it helps some what.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,686
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    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mIqmdXgVGOw&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD
  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,686
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    people with dementia don’t shower for several reasons. 1) they think they just took one. 2) they forgot how to shower 3) they are afraid of falling. 4) the water is too hot or too cold or actually hurts them. 5) the room is cold to them. If you can solve those issues you might get him to shower at least twice a week. Reasoning won’t help. For daily cleanups get the larger potty wipes and premoistened bath wipes that require no rinsing. Hospitals and nursing homes use them.

  • Whatdowedonext
    Whatdowedonext Member Posts: 11
    Seventh Anniversary 5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Depends don't work for fecal incontinence. North Shore Care https://www.northshorecare.com has products that work for both problems.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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