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Wandering

blacksparky
blacksparky Member Posts: 99
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Why do they wander. I just can’t figure this out. My DW wandered for the first time about 5 months ago. With the help from local PD, we got her back home safely. Fast forward to this month. No wandering until last week when she left house (while I was showering) and walked about 2 miles until PD found her. Had to be talked into by officer to get in my car to come home. Yesterday and today wandered to neighbors house about a block away and neighbor returned her. I have door alarms installed months ago and just a few days ago I had doubled keyed locks installed on both entry doors to house. I forgot to lock doors yesterday and today. Now I have the house locked down. I feel like a prison guard now telling my DW that she can’t leave the house. Is it time to start researching MC facilities? Not really sure what to do.

Comments

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,686
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    Dementia patients wander for a variety of reasons, including stress, the need to fulfill basic needs, a desire to engage in past routines, or visual-spatial problems. They may also wander simply out of confusion or a lack of cognitive function.  It can be caused by anxiety. If you are unable to keep her safe it’s time to look into MC. You could talk to her doctor about medication to calm her anxiety. She’s now like a toddler. Sadly, you can no longer leave her alone for any period of time, not even to shower. It’s not safe.

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 453
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
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    In my wife's case, she believed her parents were still alive and that she still lived with them. Also, she did not believe that we were married. She kept trying to walk "home."

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,255
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    This is one of those situations where it's totally your call. If you find the strategies needed to keep her from wandering more than you can manage (even if it's the emotional aspect of acting as a warden or dealing with her upset), than it's time.

    I have a friend who kept her wandering mom at home until the end. She built a home specifically for caregiving and had the place on lockdown with all manner of electronics (she and her DH are engineers), but one of the best, and low tech, deterrents was a black doormat in front of any door to the outside, the steps, or room in which they didn't want her going. The visual processing deficits in dementia, caused her to read this as a hole and mom would avoid them.

    A purpose built MCF is designed to allow her to wander without the potential for harm. At dad's the door to the lobby was disguised in a mural on the wall and less of a trigger for going out.

    HB

  • dayn2nite2
    dayn2nite2 Member Posts: 1,152
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    If you have put protections into place (alarms and locks) and you are forgetting to use them and this causes her to wander that far away, then it's time.

    Safety is first.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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