DH with dementia no longer shows hand preference

Palmetto Peg · June 17

My husband is in approximately late stage 5 of dementia. I noticed recently that he no longer shows a hand preference when eating, holding a pencil or reaching for an object. What does this mean? He was always left-handed, but will now try to eat with either hand. He requires assistance eating, but tries to do it himself. He will take his fork and get a piece of food with one hand, and with either transfer the fork to the other hand or try the next bite with the other hand. What does this mean? He also doesn't know how to hold a pencil any more, and will shift it from hand to hand but holds it at the eraser end and can't use it. At this point, I am really just curious what this signals as far as progression. I feel like he is just loosing more and more of himself, little bit by little bit. What a terrible disease! Thank you for any insight you might have!

SDianeL · June 18

Dementia can impair fine motor skills, making it difficult to perform tasks like buttoning clothes, using utensils, or writing. It depends on what part of the brain is affected by the disease. They forget how to use utensils and how to feed themselves. They forget how to use things like pencils and forget how to write. He may have progressed beyond Stage 5. The only way to try to determine that would be to make a list of his behaviors and compare them to the chart of the 7 stages that shows behaviors. Even then someone can have a behavior from a different stage or not exhibit a behavior until later stages. Very difficult to precisely determine stages, that’s why doctors don’t like to talk about stages. My DH started having trouble feeding himself during late stage 6. Try more finger foods and see how he does with them. A brightly colored plate with higher sides may help. So hard to watch our LO’s progression. Hugs. 💜

Palmetto Peg · June 18

Thank you for the input. I think you are probably right about him being in a later stage. It is hard to watch, but I also want to support him the best that I can. I will try finger foods and see how that works. Hugs to you, too - I know you recently lost your DH, and I still can't wrap my head around what it is going to be like when he is gone. 💔

harshedbuzz · June 18

@Palmetto Peg

This is an interesting observation. I don't know that I noticed this as dad took to finger foods fairly early on. There are those who look at the progression of dementia in terms of a regression of skills.

To that end, if you look at the Tam Cummings 7-Stages, you'll note the age-equivalencies which I found useful for parsing safety issues. Most PWD lose skills in a kind of LIFO (last in, first out) manner with the IADLs like managing money and driving learned as a younger adult disappearing before the loss of ADLs like feeding and toileting.

In a typically developing child, hand dominance is seen as early as 2-3 years and should be established by 5 or 6. That would be late stage 5 or early stage 6; does that track?

HB

GothicGremlin · June 19

Hmm, that is kind of strange … I think I agree that your DH is probably at a later stage.

A different, but similar weird thing happened with my sister and her hands. She was in mid to later stage 6 and she found out our uncle had passed away. For months afterward she didn't know whether her hands belonged to her or my uncle. She wasn't upset about it, she just wanted to know the answer. I told her that her hands belonged only to her.

Right before she transitioned to finger foods she was often confused by utensils and how to use them. She'd try using them with her right hand too, which didn't always work because she was also left-handed.

Jgirl57 · June 19

I am seeing that with my DH /Alz. He transfers from hand to hand and will pick up and put down several times before he starts eating. I am no longer able to give my husband the typical utensils. He got very confused and did not know what to pick up first . He now only uses sporks (bought them at pottery barn) and I pre cut everything . Also I serve in pasta bowls because of the high sides. I am guessing we are in stage 6.

Quilting brings calm · June 19

Hand preference seems to be a factor of which side of the brain is dominant. It makes sense to me that a PWD could end up with a shift in which side of the brain is now dominant. Or even no longer have either side of the brain be dominant as the brain gets more deeply affected.

marier · June 19

My Dh is left handed when writing. However playing golf or other sports he could use either hand. When eating he used his right hand primarily. Now in stage 7 when he holds a fork or spoon he sometimes holds it in his left hand or he just picks up his food with his right hand. He seems to switch back and forth when holding a fork or spoon or when picking up his food. Sometimes he just forgets how to eat and I will feed him. The diseases is progressing.

Palmetto Peg · June 20

After reading all of the comments, I do think that my DH is farther along than I think. HB - your information about hand dominance happening around 2-3 years of age really resonated with me. Much of his behavior is like that of a 2-3 year old. He is double incontinent, has tantrums when he doesn't like what he is being asked to do, hates having his diaper changed, etc. I guess he is more in stage 6 than I thought. I don't know why the MC where he is insists on giving them soup for both lunch and dinner, because he is totally incapable of eating that without assistance - which he fights! If I ask them not to give it to him and he sees others with it, he points and grunts or bangs his spoon until he gets a bowl. Another sad realization that his disease is progressing. Thank you all for your input!

DH with dementia no longer shows hand preference

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