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Father should be in nursing home but I can't do it

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  • Mav2126
    Mav2126 Member Posts: 25
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member
  • Mav2126
    Mav2126 Member Posts: 25
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Update; Its been 1 week in the nursing home for my father. He is as defiant as ever and it feels like it will never end. He still calls many times a day complaining. Its very stressful. I just can't get over the feeling that I have betrayed my father and never will have the relationship we had before.

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 513
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
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    Give him time. Take his phone if you have to, in order to keep your sanity. Consider not visiting for a week or two to allow him and yourself the space to adjust.

    It is sad, but the progession of dementia does change relationships. I know that it looks like nursing home placement is causing the change, but the reason for placement is dementia.

    You have not betrayed your father. You have taken action to protect and provide care for him as he no longer has capacity to care for himself.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,839
    2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Care Reactions 500 Likes
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    He will take much longer than a week to settle in. Could be a few months. Limit your visits. Try to go so that you can leave after 30 minutes because it’s now time for him to go eat or attend an activity. Just remember the goal is to keep him safe.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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