I'm at then end of my rope as a caregiver.

my 93 year old mother was diagnosed with ALZ dementia 11 years ago (2014). she's required 24-7 care for the past 8 years. her illness has been advanced since 2017. i am the primary caregiver at her home.

the past few months have been awful. her occasional threats and refusal to co-operate have become almost routine. threats of horrific violence (cutting off caregivers' genitals…burning down the f***ing house etc.) slapping and scratching her caregivers. refusing to let us change her diaper. refusing to let us give her a shower. throwing plates of food at the table. yelling and screaming F bombs so all the neighbors can hear. getting her in and out of bed is a daily ordeal. she's on seroquel but it doesn't help much. often she'll refuse any meds. the stress and anxiety is overwhelming. I have home health aides in daily. she treats them worse than her own children. they can't do much other than some basic house cleaning.

she was an amazing woman, mother and wife. that is gone forever.

every day i wake up, i hope she passes peacefully in her sleep. but she just keeps going.

i hate this disease.

thanks for listening to me vent. misery loves company.