Dad in nursing home - desperate to leave

Mav2126 · June 24

Hi - I had to put my Dad in a nursing home last week because of physical reasons and some low level dementia. He calls me 20-30 times a day telling me he is in a prison and wants to leave immediately. I am at a loss because my sister told me this is the only solution we can have for him (we have no money and medicaid and the VA will pay 100% of his care) and I can't go against my sister's wishes for the sole reason that she will be the only person to support me after my parents pass away. I feel like I am in a psychological bind and can't get out of it.

H1235 · June 24

There may be medication that can help him calm down. It will not turn him into a zombie if they find the right medication and dose! This is tough stuff to deal with. Have you considered seeing a counselor or maybe medication to help you cope. I’m afraid I have had to resort to a mild anti anxiety medication. I have also considered counseling, but have not done it yet. I hope you can find something that works for both you and your dad.

SDianeL · June 25

So sorry about your Dad. If he is in a nursing home for physical reasons he needs to stay there until the doctor releases him. If he is in memory care he needs to stay there for his safety and be cared for. At home 24/7 nursing is more expensive. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which will help you understand dementia. Also search online for a chart that shows the 7 stages of dementia which will give you an idea of what the future holds for your Dad. I believe your sister is correct. My husband got excellent care at a VA memory care facility. Come here often for info and support.

Dad in nursing home - desperate to leave

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