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Learning stage 8

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Jazzma
Jazzma Member Posts: 201
Sixth Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I spent so much time on this site while caring for my DH, and you all helped me so much more than you may know. I feel like I'm still in the 'middle ground' between caring for him and living without him.

One thing that I didn't really expect is that grieving changed when he passed. I had been grieving the incremental losses, the future we wouldn't have, his confusion and all that so deeply that it seemed there wouldn't be an tears left. Now I am grieving the man he was when he was whole, and it's so different and equally deep. Looking for a picture for his obituary took me through all the years we were together and left me in a puddle on the floor.

Some day those good times will be warm memories, I know.

My heart goes out to all of you who are still struggling to help your loved one on this horrible path.

Comments

  • Bunny whisperer
    Bunny whisperer Member Posts: 46
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Praying for you and sending a big hug.

  • Gator1976
    Gator1976 Member Posts: 55
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Our journey is just beginning but changes are happening weekly. We had another visit to the ER last Thursday. She was being examined to help her with pain control and mentioned her gate had changed over the last 3 months. Turns out she developed drop foot on the right. The doc was concerned about stroke and brain tumors. All that was cleared with a CT scan but now we are dealing with some other neurological issue.
    Im very concerned about the speed of her decline.

    So sorry for you loss and hope you find peace in his passing.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,866
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73404/learning-stage-8

    I’ve been in Stage 8 for 14 months. I just took a trip by myself for the first time. Everything reminded me of him. It was an emotional roller coaster. I know how you feel. Hugs. 🙏💜

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 678
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Likes 500 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    (((HUGS))) to you Jazzma

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,030
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments
    Member

    sending hugs.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 260
    100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Praying for you and sending a big (((HUGS)))

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 151
    100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Sending hugs Jazzma💜

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 906
    500 Care Reactions 500 Likes 250 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Comments
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73404/learning-stage-8

    I am so very sorry. Grief is so painful. I have lost many family members and friends, but this grief is unrelenting. I pray your grief fades to only beautiful memories.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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