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The day of the toddler

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psg712
psg712 Member Posts: 519
100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
Member
edited July 3 in Caring for a Parent

I went to my mom’s MC today just after lunch had been cleared from the table. Here is the conversation we had:

Me: did you have lunch? Mom: no. Me: are you hungry? Mom: yes. ( I then checked with a reliable staff member in the room who told me she had eaten her entire lunch, including ice cream for dessert.)

Me: let's go to your room for a bit. Mom: no. Me, setting her walker in front of her: come on, we will do beauty shop. I'll do your nails. Mom: no. Me: let me see your hands. See, your nails are getting long. It's time for a trim. Mom: No !

At this point two staff members came by. Aide: Miss C, it's time to go to the bathroom. Mom: no! Repeat by the other aide. Same response. Aides give up.

Me: you have some friends coming to see you next week. Mom: no. Me, naming the friends who are scheduled to visit from out of town: let's get fixed up before they come. Mom, laughing scornfully and hearing the names: No!

She then scooted her chair up to the table and laid her head on the table. Me: are you tired? Mom, lifting her head from the table: No. Then she laid her head back down on the table and didn't move for five minutes. I decided it was time for me to leave. We'll try it another day!

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  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 67
    10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Oh how I know those days well. My DM will be found crying. When asked, "What's wrong?" I am constantly told, "Nothing!" Not to be heartless but after 5-7 mins of trying to find out, it just becomes unimportant to me and I head for the door through which I had JUST entered. Hugs!🫂

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,742
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    Member

    I know it’s frustrating but it’s the disease. Found this online: “When a dementia patient frequently says "no" to everything, it can be frustrating for caregivers, but it's important to understand this behavior is often a manifestation of the disease and not a deliberate act of defiance. This resistance can stem from communication difficulties, feelings of shame or lack of control, or an inability to understand requests. Instead of arguing or forcing the issue, try validating their feelings, and finding ways to rephrase requests or redirect their attention.”

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,742
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    Member

    Google “dementia patient saying no to everything” and it will list reasons why they do that.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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