Mom is getting worse

Istoppedescaping · July 6

She sleeps all the time, my family when they visit they wake her up to feed her. Then she goes to sleep. When I see her,all I see is pain and anguish in her eyes. I feel her pain and she says it with her eyes why am I alive? I seriously would have taken her off her medications and stopped feeding her years ago but my hands are tied with family. I just can't see her anymore, she has lost so much weight. It's awful to live like that, can't talk, incontinent, can't walk, can't eat by herself, just sits in a chair with oxygen all day and doesn't know anyone. Plus when she eats or drinks water, she is in pain trying to swallow. Then she does that gargling sound. The death rattle.

H1235 · July 6

Is she receiving hospice care. Maybe they could help ease your family into the idea that what is being done is just prolong her misery. So sorry you and your mom are going through this.

Istoppedescaping · July 6

Yes she is on hospice. Thanks

Quilting brings calm · July 6

What does hospice think about the family waking her up to eat? I ask because when mom first went on hospice, the nurse at the AL and I were both strongly encouraging her to eat, and she wasn’t interested. This was when we all thought she just needed extra help with her ADLs. About 3 weeks into it, the hospice nurse told us to stop. Mom passed two weeks later. Four days before she died was the last time she took a drink- it was the last time she knew how to use a straw. The next day was pretty much the last time she was conscious. So is the family doing what hospice recommends or are they going against what hospice thinks?

My mom was fully conscious and talking those first three weeks. I would never wake anyone up to eat.

terei · July 7

Waking your LO to eat is not the route I would take. When quality of life is gone, how would one feel being kept alive under these circumstances? I quit my mom’s meds + did not allow staff to wake my mom at mealtimes. I knew what she wanted at the end of her life.

JulietteBee · July 7

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73467/mom-is-getting-worse

Who is listed as her DPOA or Healthcare Surrogate? That person can speak for her and request they withhold meds & food. If your mom didn't sign a DNR or "Living Will," that person would now sign it on her behalf.

THAT one person is who you should seek to sway. The whole family is inconsequential in the matter.

All the best! It must be so painful to watch. Hugs!🫂

Istoppedescaping · July 7

Thank you all, I agree and appreciate all the comments. God bless all of you.

Istoppedescaping · July 8

I give Mom up to God.

SDianeL · July 11

🙏🙏🙏💜

Mom is getting worse

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