Contesting my mom's will.

mpang123 · July 12

My sister told me about how family members fight over the will. I've been naive thinking black and white and that the will is going to be carried out as intended by my mom.

JulietteBee · July 12

Your sister is correct. However, if your mom had her Last Will and Testament legally drafted, she should have assigned an "Executor of the Will." They are the one tasked with paying any final expenses from her estate before then parceling out to each, their "inheritance."

If she did not do it legally, or does not have an executor, expect a fight. Someone who swears they were her favorite cousin, favorite dog walker, or favorite neice will come for their perceived inheritance. Some will make it so miserable for you that they will contest the will in a court of law.

SDianeL · July 12

unfortunately when money is involved many people change. It’s a shame. Wills can be challenged in court. Hope that’s not the case.

mpang123 · July 12

My mom appointed her grandson as executor of her will and is the sole beneficiary. The grandson is processing the will with the lawyer for probate. Hopefully the will is properly executed. My dad, on the other hand, is still hanging in there. He willed his grandkids as beneficiary. My sister said my dad's half siblings might contest the will and she probably would too! I'm so upset that they are so greedy. I was so naive to think that the will is thorough and precise so it can't be disputed.

weareallunique · July 12

People can , and do, contest any and everything. Heard of multi millions spent on a legal fight to contest a trust drafted over a hundred years ago…… a minor child was left a massive fortune in trust before World War 1 - years passed - her family wanted to make a change - so lawyers made bank fighting over the words . Guess no one thought the kid would ever grow up….

Did your folks ever explore and create a special needs trust for you so you'd get some portion that wouldn't impact your benefits?

Sounds like your nephew is handling his inheritance paperwork. Aren't some of your Mom's assets going to your Dad as the surviving spouse? Is the nephew protecting your Dad's position on those assets ?

Who is named as your Dad's DPOA and executor? If it is you and you need to protect his assets for his care while alive then you need to talk to a lawyer. If not you, who is managing your Dad's assets now?

I'd at least have a intro chat with a lawyer your nephew isn't using to be sure all your Dad's and his eventual inheritors rights are protected by the actions your nephew is currently taking so your Dad's care will be funded .

Probate takes longer than settling most trusts , costs more usually but the advantage is it gets court reviewed. If you won't get getting anything and your Dad's assets are safe and adequate for him while alive I wouldn't worry about the rest of the crowd piling on in probate court. Those fights are miserable , there is no winning. If that's how they want to spend their days, let them have at it when your Dad is gone. .

I'm sorry you lost your Mom. You've really stepped up and did both your folks proud. Can't put a price tag on that .

Quilting brings calm · July 12

I suppose your mom’s will could be contested on these counts: 1) was your mom competent will the will was made- the lawyer probably can answer that. 2) Did your grandson unfairly influence her to make him as both the executor and sole beneficiary. 3) Does their state require a minimum amount to go to the spouse? That would be addressed in probate. Finally 4) Did Medicaid pay for any of your mom’s or Dad’s care and can Medicaid request reimbursement from her estate?

mpang123 · July 12

Mom was of sound mind when appointing my nephew as sole beneficiary. No coercion from him. My parents does not have survivor benefits or rights of survivorship that I know of. My dad's will only named my mom as POA and did not mention a successor agent. My uncle is executor of dad's will and has medical POA. They don't have Medicaid. Things can get complicated and messy and I hope my nephew's lawyer will handle carrying out mom's will as best as she can. To carry out dad's will, my uncle in Canada needs to hire an attorney and go to probate court to execute the will accordingly. There's so many other things going on that I never thought would happen. I didn't expect that the wills are going to be challenged. Yes, I'm naive because I've never experienced anything like this before and don't know much about wills and legal and financial planning. I leave the dirty work for the lawyers.

H1235 · July 12

I think money can bring out the worst in people. My family wills have been quite vague. Everything is to be split evenly among the 5 kids or 2 kids. This wording doesn’t account for jewelry or family heirlooms. The executor is left with a lot of power and responsibility. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “ mom wanted me to have this or mom gave it to me I just hadn’t picked it up yet”. At my mil estate sale siblings bought the things they wanted, on the honor system. We payed 3 times as much as sil and got half as much stuff. But you pick your battles. My brother often tells me how mom gave him this or that. I’m executor to my uncle’s estate ( he is still alive). He has no kids, he is a hoarder, lives 2 hours away, has 6 or 7 nieces and nephews, and I have not seen the will. I think it’s going to be a nightmare. Dealing with an estate is just an ugly mess.

mpang123 · July 12

It seems like it's a common issue when family tries to claim their inheritance and it can get ugly.

JulietteBee · July 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/247957#Comment_247957

Sad but true…💔

weareallunique · July 13

mpang123-

Who is managing your Dad's assets now- today - your Uncle being executor is an after passing position, asset management not usually covered under a medical POA . You should check that your Dad's assets are managed and protected now for his future care needs while alive . That piece sounds missing in what you wrote. Spousal rights are usually under state laws - if your folks didn't spend legal fees to do separate marital asset separation there maybe something that needs to be coordinated with your mom's estate.

Who will file your Mom and Dad's tax return for 2025? If an estate return is needed I guess nephew's lawyer can assign that but your Dad will need a regular return .

If you won't be getting anything after they are both gone - so who cares about the wills and any future fights. If your folks had wanted things set out crystal clear that was on them to do back when. Don't you worry about it . Just be sure your Dad will have his assets there for his care.

mpang123 · July 13

That's the problem. There is no POA for dad. There is no one to manage his assets but he has joint account with mom so I guess my nephew can still write checks from the joint account? All of my parent's bills are on auto pay from the joint account. Will my dad still receive SS check while alive? Does he need a representative payee? I don't know what to do when filing taxes. Hopefully my nephew's lawyer can sort everything out. I'm worried if everything needs to be arranged immediately. Is there a time frame to do all this?

weareallunique · July 13

Best thing would be to talk to a different elder law attorney to get ideas on how to proceed to protect your Dad. Each case is different and an outside lawyer can advise if there is an inherent conflict with your nephew /his attorney managing what may now be your Dad's assets. If you or your Uncle do nothing then adult protective may get involved. That wouldn't be my first choice . Sorry you were left with such a mess.

Quilting brings calm · July 13

The joint account is not part of the estate. your nephew has no authority to write checks on it. A joint account goes directly to the survivor- your dad. If no one else is on the account and there is no POA, the only way to access that account is if your dad signs a check that someone writes for him. If he’s not competent to understand what he is signing, then having him sign a check is elder abuse and fraud. Someone needs to apply for guardianship - unless your dad is competent enough to grant someone POA.

You need to immediately contact an elder care/estate attorney. Not the one your nephew is using. Your nephew has no authority to manage your dad’s assets. You need to determine what your dad’s assets are. Did they rent? Was his name on the lease? If not, he has no authority to say in the place. If they owned a house, was the deed tenants in common orjoint tenancy with right of survivorship? If so, the house is not part of the estate - it’s your dad’s. If it wasn’t, then your dad could be thrown out of the house at any time.

mpang123 · July 13

There are so many factors that are involved. I can't afford a lawyer but it seems like that is the only way to proceed in the right direction. I'm scared and uncertain about not doing the right thing and to face the repercussions of that. I need guidance in times like this. Just wished my mom didn't pass away so unexpectedly. We were bracing for my dad to go first. Now everything is backwards and all Hell's broke loose.

weareallunique · July 13

The lawyer's costs can be paid for out of your Dad's assets. Get the name of an elder law attorney - not one your mom, uncle or nephew are using and explain the situation to them . They'll guide you.

No reason to be worried- you are just getting your Dad's affairs in order so he will be secure and then that whatever he has gets passed on properly in time.

You don't want to delay on this so others don't try to jump in . IF your Mom was in the middle of doing a special needs trust for you and you have something to document that - ask the lawyer about it - if worth trying to pursue that.

If not , I'd just get your Dad set up so his care is paid for and be with him as much as you can .

If you are asked about where any of this stands you can just refer them to the lawyer.

Not just your family by any means but people get afraid to set things up while they are healthy and that leaves chaos behind. Sort of - do you want the right paperwork done and ready in life's glove box or drive down the road with windows open and papers flying.

People just keep "saving" money by not addressing the issues. Lawyers get their chunk in the end.

H1235 · July 13

Do you think they are contesting the will because they want money or could it be they are concerned about your dad? It’s sounds like you are on good terms with the nephew that is the executor and sole beneficiary. QBC has brought up some good points about bank accounts and the home. Can you talk with this nephew just to see what his thoughts are regarding these things. It could be he is fully aware that $ in the shared bank account would go to your dad. When (not if) you or another family member file for guardianship I believe that if it is granted it would come out of his money. Is this something you are willing to do? If not is there another family member that can take on that role? Seems like a family meeting (or maybe some phone calls to figure out what everyone is thinking)and a trip to see a CELA is in order. What a shame you have to deal with all of this after just loosing your mom.

Contesting my mom's will.

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