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Premonition of Memory Care Move

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Denise1847
Denise1847 Member Posts: 903
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Last year for about 4 months before he went to memory care, my DH talked about being separated from me. He talked about how he didn't want to leave, that he wanted us to be together. He also would take all of his clothes out of his drawers every night and pile them on his bed like he was packing for a trip. There was no plan, no discussion about memory care. Four months late, He contracted COVID and was hospitalized for a month. He deteriorated and then transferred to memory care.

Have any of you experienced this? It seems like he had some kind of premonition. This is really freaky.

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  • mrahope
    mrahope Member Posts: 559
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    I don't know, but I will say that before he went to MC, my DH also was packing up all his belongings as if for a long trip. He said that he wanted to go back to his home country (half a world away).

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 1,021
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    Lots of pwd have lots of fears about moving and separation. They're often fearful of leaving their current situation, but sometimes they're also fearful about not being able to find a home they lived in as a child or young adult.

    I wouldn't necessarily see it as a premonition.

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 136
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    edited July 12

    A while back I started touring MC facilities. My DW had no idea. I have never mentioned the subject in her presence. Recently, out of the blue, DW will hug me and say "I want to stay with you". That has happened a few times in recent weeks.

    I think our mind likes to take random, unrelated things and create greater meaning from them. Perhaps there is more to it than this. I am not sure it is possible to know.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 129
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    As others have said, the piling things up and even packing belongings are behaviors that are not uncommon with this disease. My stepmom piled all her clothes on the bed every day for months and took pictures off the walls, saying she was “going home.”

    I think we humans look for meaning and patterns in things we experience, and we are good at making things meaningful…so I vote against premonition. But that’s me making my own story. 🤣

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 279
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    How ironic. My DW has been in MC for 3 months now. She also piles things on her bed, there, planning to "go home", meaning our home. The staff put everything away, and she does it again the next day.

    When I visit, she says how much she misses me, that she wants to be with me, that she wants to go home.

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 903
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    This disease is so confounding. The PWD lives in a different world unseen by us.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 538
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    My DW has been in MC for 7 months. For the past two weeks, she has been removing all the clothes from her closets and stacking them on the floor. She never mentions going home. She just sits there and chats with me while I put them all away. She is not agitated by my putting the clothes away. So weird…

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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