Is this considered wandering?

annie51 · July 15

DH is in Stage 6 and I’m having an awful time with keeping him busy. One thing we’ve been doing is walking, even in the Florida heat (not ideal, but if he wants to, it occupies some time). However, he walks and walks as if it’s a one way trip - he wants to go a certain way and I have a terrible time getting him to walk back toward the car or the house. He flat out refuses. This is getting very distressing as I’m now uptight every time we start walking, wondering if I can get him to turn around before we walk too far or will I need to call a friend or an Uber to get us back. Could this be a form of wandering, even though I’m with him? Or maybe it’s a way for him to be in control by resisting my pleas to turn around? I’ve tried to be patient, to make him think he said to go “this” way, to fake that my knee or foot is hurting bad, nothing works.

I also just had my first experience with him wandering alone a few nights ago, where he was missing from 12:30 am until they found him at 8:30. I don’t know if this is all related.

SDianeL · July 15

I don’t think it’s wandering. He just doesn’t remember where home is. He has no sense of direction. Some have had success walking on a round track or path where you automatically return to where you started. Have you tried offering a treat like ice cream? If that doesn’t work it might be time to stop walking. He’s not complying because he doesn’t comprehend what you are saying. Can you give him simple tasks at home to keep him busy? I saw a video of a daughter that gave her Dad 3 colors of sweetener packets and 3 containers and had him sort them by color. Just busy work. He can’t reason so he’s not trying to be in control. It’s the disease. His brain is broken. You can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. Leaving the house was wandering and very dangerous. Glad he was found safe. A alarm on the bed and licks on all doors are now necessary to keep him safe. Some law enforcement agencies have tracking devices they will give for dementia patients.

JDancer · July 15

Am I understanding your last sentence correctly? Was your DH missing all night? Where were they? This is life threatening behavior, IMO.

Scooterr · July 15

I agree whole heartily with SDianeL, when I would take my DW walking she just didn't realize how far or long she had been walking. Yes the night thing is wandering, which my wife still does in the early morning hrs. With the house secured, doors locked, and all dangers secured from her access she paces the floor in the living for hr. which is fine with me. I'll let her pace for a couple of hrs. then put her back in back, where most the time she goes back to sleep (yes it's frustrating but works for us). Finding a track that goes in circles is a good ideal.

annie51 · July 15

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248187#Comment_248187

Yes he was gone all night - very scary and yes, life threatening. He had never done that before. Sheriff called me in the morning - he was about 4 miles away, dehydrated but ok. I now have an AirTag in his shoe. I will get an alarm or lock for the door.

easy23 · July 16

It seems like wandering to me. My DH used to wander and I would follow him. I would catch up and walk with him. He couldn't be persuaded to turn around and walk home. He eventually got tired and I showed him the way home.

BlueVelvet · July 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248193#Comment_248193

This has worked well for me: https://www.alzstore.com/confounding-door-lock-p/0247.htm

tboard · July 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73520/is-this-considered-wandering

Being gone all night is wandering. Not wanting to turn around and go back during a walk could just be that he doesn't like being told what to do. I have similar issues with my DH trying to get him in the house at night or when there are heat advisories. My only suggestion is to find a way to make it his decision to turn around. Maybe remind him that there is a bowl of ice cream waiting for him at home or that you need to meet a repair person or what ever will make him turn around.

As for the wandering I put an alarm on the backdoor that I set at night. I can hear it if the door opens. Nothing expensive but it is loud.

harshedbuzz · July 17

@annie51

Disappearing into the night would be considering wandering. Insisting on daytime walk is not. The common denominator seems to be that he is compelled to walk which is not uncommon in the late stage. Some folks whose LOs had this behavior feel anxiety seems to be at the root of it. I'd talk with his doctor about medication to try to dial it back.

For the actual elopement/wandering at night. You need robust dementia-proofing in place as Florida brings risks not found in other parts of the country. Locks to prevent him leaving the house and perhaps a motion detector that alerts you when he's out of bed. This is how a friend managed her mom's elopements as she slept on the second floor of their large home. Another thought it to look into whether your community law enforcement has Smart911 or a program to pre-register your DH as a vulnerable elder with them.

There was another poster a year or so ago who had the same my way or the highway issue with her DH. She figured out, this wasn't so much a manifestation of poor executive function but a reaction to constantly being prompted what to do. She started telling him to make the "wrong" aka longer route turn to which he knee-jerk reacted to the shorter route. She sometimes drove him to a park where there was a short circular path; their car provided a logical stopping point.

HB

Is this considered wandering?

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