My DW isolating herself

banddrlp · July 27

My wife was recently diagnosed with AZD- following a rapid change in her behaviors and moods. Since her diagnosis a month and a half ago, she has increasingly removed herself from any social interaction (including with myself, our children, grandchildren and close friends by lying in bed and refusing to get up. When she does get up she will only come out for brief moments and then will retreat to our bedroom and bed.
She has trouble sitting to eat and generally sitting for any amount of time.
Any advice on how I might encourage her to engage more and not spend so much time in bed would be appreciated.

Chris20cm · July 27

I have the same situation with DW. I learned to plan activities and outings, church and Bible study regularly, grocery shopping, trips to the beautician, Dr and dental appts, all sorts of things and she is surprisingly compliant as long as she doesn't know ahead of time. I quit putting things on the calendar because she would get upset, so I have to spring everything on her at the last minute. It works, somehow, and I am thankful for that, otherwise we would be totally isolated.

BethL · July 27

It sounds like she is depressed. Check with her dr. as antidepressants may be beneficial.

trottingalong · July 27

My DH is on Zoloft and it has helped. At least he gets dressed and on the couch.he doesn’t go many places but he seems content watching tv.

Gator1976 · July 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73597/my-dw-isolating-herself

My LW did the same kind of thing. It wasn’t so much the bed but, she would spend hours just looking out in space. He sleep time increased a bunch as well. Turned out to be a deep depression. He will to live was gone. What brought her out of it was an intensive 2 week training session at Mayo Clinic called H.A.B.I.T. It’s run by the Psychology Department. We went to the one given in Jacksonville, FL. It’s only given 3 times a year to up to 10 Caregivers and 10 “Partners”. It was well worth the time and expense.

Jgirl57 · July 27

Welcome and sorry you had to find this group but glad you did. I would give it some time and then if she is not yet on medication ,get an appointment with Dr for medication. It seems she may understand her diagnosis for now and processing the information. Zoloft ( sertraline ) helped my DH/alz. We started at 50 mg, then 75, then 100 and now at 125 with success over several years . Everyones journey is different, yet similar

harshedbuzz · July 28

@banddrlp

Dementia is about so much more than just memory loss. What you're seeing is likely a combination of depression and also apathy around social interaction. Many PWD struggle with processing language, following segues and have difficulty participating in conversations that include more than 1 or 2 participants. It's exhausting for them and can become isolating for their caregivers. Another thing that many PWD report is that they aren't included in group interactions with others talking past them and to each other.

I would speak to her doctor about adding a low dose of an SSRI-type medication (Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac, etc) or Wellbutrin to see if that eases some of this for her. In terms of social interaction, it might be best to keep visitors to very small groups. Maybe just one other couple or the adult child alone or with maybe one child or spouse at a time. Younger kids are sometimes bring a level of chaotic energy that is upsetting to some PWD even if they were previously a doting grandparent.

Another piece to this, despite you wife's recent diagnosis (she sounds very mid-stage in her behavior), is that many PWD become very attached to their caregiver and become loathe to "share" that person with others who come to visit. Remember that emotional intelligence remains well into the disease process— if your affect is normally pretty flat/matter-of-fact and you light up with a visit from an old friend or your grandchildren, she may feel threatened (that you like them more than her) and sulk.

HB

My DW isolating herself

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