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White Crane
White Crane Member Posts: 1,030
Eighth Anniversary 500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Every time I think about it, something else happens and I put it off. It's been eighteen months since my DH entered MC and I wish I could say I have adjusted to being alone. My life is full of activities but underneath is the sadness that never goes away. In the evenings, when I am alone, it hits full force and the tears start falling. I miss my husband so much and yet we've been on this journey for so long that I can barely remember the man he was before Alzheimer's. How many years can you grieve someone? When I visit him in MC, he is always happy to see me and he is loving and tells me he loves me. I love him too and that's what breaks my heart. He wants to come home and I dearly want to bring him home but there is no way I can do that. I'm not physically up to it. When he looks at me with such sadness in his eyes it's all I can do not to bundle him up and take him with me. I visit often and relish his hugs and the little bit of time we can spend together. Then I leave and feel so empty driving home. This is my life now. I know God has blessed us and is taking care of us and with His help I get through my days. Still, I am lonely and cry by myself.

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  • Gator1976
    Gator1976 Member Posts: 55
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So sorry for you and your life you must endure now. Life goes on, time marches on and some day he will leave this life for a life beyond and so will you. Then, once again you will be reunited with the husband you married for a life eternal. Blessings to you and he. Enjoy your limited time together.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 328
    250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Member

    I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. I don’t think we can ever predict how we will react to the various things we go through with this disease. It’s such a LONG painful journey and a long slow goodbye. It will be over someday and you can move on but be comforted in knowing he is happy and loves you still.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 284
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    It has been 16 months since my wife moved to memory care and I stay relatively active but with things that seem mostly meaningless. I feel like I am stuck between two worlds one where my wife is here and alive but not living and one that she is not. I can't really move forward because I am still anchored to the past. These feeling come and go. I go along doing OK for a while then all of a sudden they come back. This journey is hard but I am slowly getting through it. All we can do is keep going never giving up on trying. The Jews wondered the desert for 40 years before they found their promised land. May God bless you.

    t

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,853
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    yes, sadness and guilt sums up the journey of dementia. We understand. Hugs. 💜

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 456
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    Every step of this journey is such a difficult challenge. Big hug.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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