Walking Through Dementia With My Brother

Deepsea · August 6

These past few months have been some of the hardest of my life. My brother’s dementia symptoms keeps increasing, and it’s heartbreaking watching someone I love so deeply change in ways I never imagined.

The last time I saw him, I watch pieces of him slowly slip away his memory, his spark, the conversations we used to share. It’s painful beyond words, and the emotional toll is heavy. I’ve been away for work in a while and feed backs I get from his caregiver breaks me.

I’ve been trying to stay focused on work and daily life, but the truth is, I’m struggling. The heartbreak follows me everywhere, and some days I feel completely overwhelmed.

I’m sharing this not for sympathy, but because I know I’m not alone and maybe someone out there needs to hear this too. If you’re going through something similar, I see you. This kind of grief is real, even while your loved one is still physically here.

Please keep my brother in your thoughts. And if you can spare a moment, keep me in them too

Grievingdaughter · August 6

I totally understand what you are going through. My mom is the one who has dementia/Alzheimer's. Everything was very gradual until she fell. Now it seems like she is a different person. I feel like I have lost my mother. I can't talk to her the way I used to.

Unfortunately, I am going through a divorce, too. I feel like I have a heavy cloud over me, too.

Just know that I can understand where you are coming from. I wish you all of the best. I will keep your brother and you in my thoughts.

eaglemom · August 6

Deepsea it is difficult to watch a family member, or anyone you love go through this disease. Have you been able to get in contact with any support groups? I was so against support groups in the beginning of this process and now I can't imagine not having support groups. Even if its virtual, I think you can gain some value from sharing with others in the same boat as you.

Might I ask how often do you see your brother? With work and your life I realize its hard to fit everything in, I do get that. But maybe if you'd see him on a more regular basis, his decline wouldn't be so overwhelming to you. That's just a thought. What you can't allow to happen is for your work to suffer because your not focused. That's not good for anyone.

Deep breaths and look into support groups.

eagle

Deepsea · August 6

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/249830#Comment_249830

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m truly sorry you’re going through so much as well. Watching someone you love slowly change in front of you is heartbreaking, i really feel your pain. I’m sending strength and peace your way, especially as you navigate both your mom’s illness and the divorce. Please know you’re not alone either. We’ll keep holding on, one day at a time. Keeping you in my thoughts, too.

Deepsea · August 6

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/249872#Comment_249872

thank you so much for taking the time to share this, it really means a lot. You’re absolutely right, it’s incredibly hard watching someone you love fade in ways you never imagined. I haven’t looked into support groups yet, but hearing your experience makes me realize I should. I guess I’ve just been trying to stay strong on my own, but maybe it’s time I stop carrying it all alone.

I see my brother as often as I can, but you’re right, it’s never enough. The guilt and emotional weight pile up when life pulls you in every direction. I’ll definitely try to be more intentional about that. And yes, I know I need to get back to being fully present at work too. Thank you again for the reminder, your words really hit home.

Sending you strength too, you clearly speak from experience. I appreciate you.

Walking Through Dementia With My Brother

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