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Time to move Mom

mtheodorakakos
mtheodorakakos Member Posts: 4
First Comment
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in Caring for a Parent

I am new here. My sister and I have been dealing with my mom's Alzheimer's for about 2 years now. We have tried to get both parents to move to assisted living with zero success. They are both incredibly stubborn. To make an all too familiar long story short, it is time for mom to go into Memory Care. Any advice to making the transition as smooth as possible?

Comments

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,476
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary
    Member

    Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

    Don't tell her the steps you are taking, so you don't upset her. From what I've learned, when it is time for the move, you have her room set up, take her maybe to lunch, and bring her to her new room. You could say that the house needs a renovation (leaky pipes, or electrical issues) and she will be staying at the new place while repairs are taking place. Repeat as necessary. Depending on your mom, you could set this up beforehand as the scenario.

  • FearlessHeart21
    FearlessHeart21 Member Posts: 4
    First Comment
    Member
    Hey, I am close to being in the same boat with you. DH’s dad’s mum had dementia, and she was stubborn, Dad came up with a plan and said, “pack your bags ma, we are going on a nice vacation.” And she did pack a bag, they went out and about, went for a drive, had some food, and dad dropped off mum at the assistant living. Everything was set up and ready to go. And that was it.

    First commenter, I agree, create a diversion that is common and “dangerous.” To convince the parent to evacuate to a safe place.
  • mtheodorakakos
    mtheodorakakos Member Posts: 4
    First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/249703#Comment_249703

    Thank you. For my mom, that is the perfect scenario for her. She has always stressed about her home, how it looks, what people will think. Yes, here sucks.

  • mtheodorakakos
    mtheodorakakos Member Posts: 4
    First Comment
    Member

    That is a wonderful diversion. It must have broke his heart to have to lie to her like that. That is the hardest part. We have always been and open and honest with each other family—-so this is difficult. My biggest fear is leaving her alone there. I am planning on spending some evenings with her. Where we plan on placing her is close to where they live now, so dad can spend the day with her. thanks for the advice.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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