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Lost Caring For Mom

lostdaughter
lostdaughter Member Posts: 1 New
in Caring for a Parent
My mom was diagnosed with dementia about 3 years ago. She lives with us and I would say she is in the late stages. She has been on an antibiotic for one week and staring another round this week for a UTI. But, recently she has started mumbling, shuffling her feet, very unbalanced and sometimes emotional and sometimes hateful. My mom was never hateful in her life. I feel like I’m not sure what stage she is really in because the last trip to the ER, I was told end stages. It seems everyone has a different idea of the stages. She isn’t eating much, she is losing weight and has trouble swallowing her meds at times. I’m at a loss. I’m angry, I’m hurt, frustrated and everything else. What stage is she in???

Comments

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,100
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    Member

    Welcome. Sorry you need to be here. I have attached a copy of the staging tool that most here use. I hate to say it, but have you considered hospice? It’s my understanding the qualifications might be a bit different for a person with dementia. I have also heard there is no need for a doctors recommendation or referral. I have no experience, but many here have said it was very helpful.

    There was an error displaying this embed.
  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,100
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    Member

    The link didn’t work. I’ll try again.


    DBAT.pdf
  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 187
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    Member

    An additional resource would be Youtube videos put out by Tam Cummings, PhD. She has one that specifically breaks down the 7 stages and what symptoms patients typically present with. I will try to locate it for you.

    All the best and please accept a gentle hug.🫂 We are all on the same miserable journey, wanting it to end, but not wanting our loved one to die.

    Here it is!

    https://youtu.be/tansVVDM0fE?si=8eQgEeuhGdFaB-sN

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,942
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    Member

    I would contact hospice for an evaluation. They provide so much support. If she improves they will discharge her. So take advantage of their help. If the hospital said late stage and you think late stage that’s enough for a hospice evaluation. Remember it’s not your Mom talking it’s the disease. Anxiety causes it. Ask her doctor for medication to calm her if she’s not already taking something. We understand what you’re going through. Come here often for support. 💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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