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Anosognosia Is Overwhelming Me

WIGO23
WIGO23 Member Posts: 217
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I know my DH cannot help having Anosognosia as part of his Alzheimers but WOW is it taking a toll on me. I JUST NEED TO VENT. NO ADVICE PLEASE.

I have always been a person who is grounded in facts and science. Now I must try to shift my core personality to accommodate my DH’s lack of understanding of either of these as it relates to his limited capabilities.

He lives in a world where his memory loss is not real to him. He lives in a world that angers and confuses him when I try to mitigate his mistakes (only when necessary) or distract him from unsafe situations.

The way I live in my world is to face reality. He cannot live there with me. It is taking its toll. I am tired, anxious and depressed so much of the time. There is no real respite or escape from being constantly faced with his unawareness of how hard our lives have become.

Comments

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 270
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    Hugs….with ya in our almost unsustainable hell.

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 530
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    We understand. Big hug

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 268
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    Right there with ya.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,295
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    We understand completely. 💜

  • Mitsu2
    Mitsu2 Member Posts: 13
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    I understand and really feel the exhaustion. I also identify as a very grounded, fact-based problem solver, so adapting to a constantly shifting reality is so draining.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 519
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    it’s crap and I hate it. It’s exhausting.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 173
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    ditto to all of the above, living with the impossible!
    💜

  • CampCarol
    CampCarol Member Posts: 243
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    Vent away…we are here for you!

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 265
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    ((HUGS))

  • Mitsu2
    Mitsu2 Member Posts: 13
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    That's the hardest part of this for me. He thinks he's fine, but can't be left alone for more than a few minutes.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,234
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    Anosognosia is the worst! Mom thought if she can push her walker she can push a lawnmower, wanted to reupholster a couch, wanted a full size toaster oven so she could bake cookies in Al, insists she is perfectly fine to live alone, wants to sort through her house and things herself (doesn’t want me to touch anything, she is a hoarder). Unfortunately I have a brother that doesn’t have dementia, but has the same disconnect with reality. She is in a nursing home now and I haven’t heard her mention theses kinds of things in a while. I guess if she doesn’t see the couch she is not going to want to reupholster it. I would rather answer the same question over and over and over than to have mom think I am a horrible person for sticking her in a nursing home for no reason at all.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 130
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    I am right there with you.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 432
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    We understand…some days are ok but some days it’s so overwhelming.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 94
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    It truly is overwhelming and frustrating.

    I was aware of the meaning of Anosognosia and had been frustrated that my husband doesn’t seem to accept his diagnosis but I never put the label on his behaviors. After reading these posts it’s clear that this is what’s happening with my husband. He doesn’t seem aware of his limitations, hasn’t told his sisters or friends. His son knows his father has ALZ because he called me, concerned about his father’s behavior after a recent visit.

    Thank you for posting, and to others for sharing your experiences and insights.
    This disease sucks.

  • Jo124c
    Jo124c Member Posts: 18
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    Anosognosia has been a constant for my DH who doesn't understand he is in memory care, continues to want to "help others" or "do something in the world" and move back to places where he had a job and drivers license. For a few weeks he stopped yearning for this sort of meaning, and now he enjoys some of the activities in MC, but recently at a nice lunch out with me he started crying because he didn't have a job.

    For him the Anosognosia is protective because it would be intolerable for him to face that he is headed toward the same fate as those he sees further along in the journey in his MC home. I understand that Anosognosia is present in about 75 or 80 percent of PWD. He generally doesn't talk about his grief over not being relevant in the world except to me.

    My grief is because he has forgotten all the wonderful things he did when he was working and all the people he helped. It seems so unfair that the wanting to be employed again is accompanied by the loss of memories of what he was who he was and what he did.

    I am so glad we are able to share our grief and loneliness here. Thank you all.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,295
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    my husband called talking with the other veterans in the VA memory care facility “work”. It made him feel useful.

  • howhale
    howhale Member Posts: 95
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    If your loved one demonstrates Anosognosia and is not distressed because they think others know their diagnosis and think they are "crazy" then make the most of that time and pray they never shift into the distressed state. We lots almost three years because of this behavior.

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 219
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    edited September 23

    In my situation, I generally feel DW's anosognosia has been more of a blessing than a curse. If DW woke up every day and shared my understanding of what is wrong with her and where this is heading….. that just feels like something that would make this so much harder.

  • Lgb35
    Lgb35 Member Posts: 168
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    I think I am dealing with this now too. DH has been diagnosed with Primary Progressive Aphasia semantic variant. He is 62. Still working and still driving. He does not recognize he his short comings. Every time I try to discuss the end of driving or work or that he should ask for my help with some things, he gets upset and says I am telling him he is an idiot. I have never said that or anything close to calling him an idiot. I feel like we have gotten to the point where life needs to change but he doesn’t see it. He gets so upset when I bring it up. It feels very lonely. Instead of this disease impacting us together it’s like I am doing this to him

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 80
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  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 80
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    My DH and I have been married for 56 years. We have been the love of our lives all that time, 4 kids and 12 grandkids later. He was diagnosed with dementia 15 yrs ago and has never had a grasp of his illness or what was coming. I had researched and recognized each stage but he was clueless. Now he is stage 6 of his dementia and in a memory care facility that we cannot afford. He has aphasia so can no longer communicate or follow simple direction. It's clear that his physical self remains but it's all I have since the essence of the amazing person, loving husband and best friend, baseball/football coach, dad, papa, friend, he has always been is gone. Most painful experience of my life. I'm sorry that so many of you can relate.. God bless you all.

  • budhamom
    budhamom Member Posts: 3
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    my situation is almost identical to yours my dh and I are together 56 years we have 5 children ,2 grandchildren,and 5 great grand children. He is also stage 6 but still at home. I am his primary caretaker 24/7 . Luckily he lasted 7 years until his altzheimers progressed rapidly this year. His doctor has been extremely helpful in prescribing him meds to deal with these changes. Anxiety medicine, medicine to stop his anger and frustration. Medicine to help him sleep at night . It has been a lot more manageable since the meds. I know how you feel it is so heartbreaking to see him like this and not the person he was. He doesn’t remember us our life experiences our family we have to learn we are on our own now. But most important is to keep reminding ourselves it’s much worse for him. Not remembering anything.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more