Two weeks in

I am so sorry you're dealing with a double whammy. You have found an excellent discussion group for suggestions, advice, and just plain support. Feel free to vent at any time.

I can't offer any specific advice about cancer. However, people here will routinely say you've got to take care of yourself or you're of no help to your LO.

Concerning dementia: The PET scan is probably to try to determine what kind of dementia your husband has. For some types, there are specific drugs that can help control particular (undesired) behaviors. I don't know why the insurance company denied the doctor's request. Maybe you can ask them. In the end, though, we all just try to support our LO through the various stages of the disease as well as we can, knowing there's no cure.

It is common for PWD to have anosognosia, which manifests as denial, but is actually a condition where the patient truly doesn't perceive they have a problem. The difference is subtle and may be one of the first challenges caregivers face. It is futile to try to reason with them. As we say, their reasoner is broken. You will need to develop strategies to work around the condition. In my case, I knew my DW would challenge any attempt I might undertake to get help: "Why do you need help? There's nothing wrong with me." This discussion group was the one place where I could get support without being challenged.

There are times when we all asks ourselves whether we can do this, take care of our LO, but somehow most of us do. That doesn't mean it's easy.

I'm sure others with chime in with suggestions for someone just starting down this road. You may find the New Caregivers Discussion Group (<https://alzconnected.org/group/32-new-caregiver-help>) to be helpful. People often recommend the book, "The 36-Hour Day."

Come back here often.

In my experience, insurance coverage for PET scans following a dementia diagnosis are all over the place. Some are approved, others denied, others denied then approved….