Transition into memory care

Chashmad · August 20

I moved my mom into memory care 10 days ago. She loves when I take her for rides or out to eat. Do you think it is okay for me to take her to my house some days? Or should I let her get acclimated to her new home first? So far she hasn't fought going back but I have only taken her on rides or to stores.

SusanB-dil · August 20

Hi Chashmad - welcome to 'here'…

If she enjoys you taking her out, I would stick with that for now. I would say wait a bit and see how her mood is. If you think she will be ok, maybe start with just bringing her to your house for lunch and see how it goes.

A lot is dependent on your mom. Some can't understand why they can't stay there (with you), and then you might have your hands full. My grandmother was ok if we took her to my brother's for a get-together, and then as some were leaving, they would have her leave (take her back) as well. That worked out probably because everyone was leaving, so she did, too.

ARIL · August 20

I echo Susan’s advice that it all depends on your mom. You should trust your instincts on this.

My dad has been in MC for 15 months, and we bring him to our home for lunch—more often a year ago than now, but it is still happening at least monthly. He will sometimes ask why he can’t stay overnight, and I say that he “promised the people where you live that you’ll be back for dinner by 5:00.” He is OK with that.

Other people would be different. I know one PWD whose family does not feel confident in taking her out of the facility at all, since they fear a meltdown.

There is value in routine for a PWD, but individuals vary a lot. You know your mom best. You can try a home visit when you are ready and see how it goes.

Transition into memory care

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