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I need to hear a "poor baby" from someone please

DH is end stage EOAD. He is in hospice so I have contacted his nurse to help with medication adjustments.

He had not peed all day, I was texting his RN to ask about this when he went into his room and peed all over his bed. Because I have a plastic mattress protector on there was a puddle of pee. He then dragged his pillow through it and threw it at me. Yep, I was hit in the face with a pee pillow.

We have back zip pjs for him and he will now be wearing them all the time. Luckily they are a slim fit so I can layer sweatpants over them come fall.

He was only in shorts and a T-shirt today because he went to an activity/respite program for a few hours. No more. Pj's 24/7 for this man. It sounds harsh, but this is the 4th time in 3 months.

Help please, I need words of sympathy. He is in hospice so we must be near the end of this horrible journey, right?

Comments

  • M5M
    M5M Member Posts: 185
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    I'd be feeling like PlentyQuiet too, if I was hit in the face with a pee pillow! What a lousy thing to happen.

    I agree with the back zip PJs, you need to protect yourself and the furniture…

    It's Friday night. Maybe a glass of wine is in order?

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 494
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    A pee pillow. That sounds just lovely. I'm so sorry. That deserves a, "you poor thing".

    Big hug

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 329
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    That sounds like a child's mnemonic: "Pee is for pillow." Ugh.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 49
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    PlentyQuiet, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, sending you a virtual hug as well as the glass (bottle?) of wine that M5M mentioned. Where I worked we had these full face plastic protection shields. Now I see a good use for them!

  • smangano
    smangano Member Posts: 1
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    You are in my prayers. . . Keep the faith. . . You are heroic. Stay strong!!

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 696
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    (((HUGS)))

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 159
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    My DH is under hospice too and I had a bad evening in that my husband got out the door, that most of the time he can’t figure out how to open and went over to the neighbors house across the street, who just moved in and we do not know. and I couldn’t talk him into returning. Took quite a bit of time and a lot of talking but finally got him to come back to our house. He has never done that before. Stressful😞 but your peed pillow is worse. Yes you deserve “poor baby”. So sorry.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 92
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    Ugh so sorry for the literal slap in the face. Buy a new pillow, give him one of your gently used pillows and I see a new pillow in your future. It's the least you deserve.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 68
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    I think my DH would be mortified if he understood how much aggravation he causes me. And how rude and unappreciative he can be. Yelling, screaming, demanding. It’s so hard for me to remember that it’s not him, it's the disease. It sure looks like him, but he’s not here anymore. I hate this horrible disease. It’s a thief, it stole my husband from me.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 68
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    For some reason I can’t edit. PlentyQuiet, what a horrible thing to happen to you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Prayers for better days.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 464
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    Oh how I feel for you. Just imagining being hit with a pee pillow is enough to send me into dispair. You poor poor baby. The million dollar question “when is the end of this rotten journey”. Sending hugs.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,610
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    Non-creepy internet hugs and hair pats ((((@PlentyQuiet))))

    The indignities of dementia are limitless.

  • JDancer
    JDancer Member Posts: 520
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    You never know what they'll do, that sounds terrible.

    Yesterday I didn't see my spouse when I came in from the backyard. I found him sitting on the (solid bottom) shower chair, pooping. Don't you wish you could get inside their heads and know what they're thinking?

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 288
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    Big Poor Baby and Hugs to you! The toll this disease takes on us is unbelievable! I'm so sorry you are going through this. Keep him in the back zippered clothing all the time, for sure. It sounds like you have your own rooms, so be sure to keep your door closed and keep your space serene and clean. Prayers for some relief soon!

  • PlentyQuiet
    PlentyQuiet Member Posts: 117
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    Thank you all so much! I knew my people would come through with words of support.

    Back zip pjs for the win! My kid is also playing around with combining a mens tank top undershirt to some boxer shorts to make a lightweight garment to wear under everything. If they can do it it will be so much less expensive than buying 5 more sets.

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 31
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    Pee pillow… oh my…

    HUGS!

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 235
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    Prayers, hugs, chocolates, a nice long flower scented bath are my wishes for you and of course, mounds and mounds of sympathy. You poor baby, hope this is the last of a pee pillow!💕💙

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 466
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    We all need a "poor baby" from time to time. This is a good place to get it. I've had it better than most but I still need it at times. "Poor baby" to all of us.

  • WIGO23
    WIGO23 Member Posts: 199
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    Your experience reminds me of getting splattered in my face by my son while changing his diaper 45 years ago. I laughed then and if it happens sometime with my DH, (no where near incontinence stage), I hope I can laugh again.

    That said—“poor thing—you certainly didn’t need it deliberately in your face”!

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,056
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    I'm sorry. Pee pillow in the face sounds so awful! Big Hugs!

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 166
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    Insult to injury PlentyQuiet! That’s awful, ugh!!! Not to my credit, I’d have had a hard time overcoming my reflex to heave it back. So sorry you had to deal with that POOR BABY!!!! Argh!

  • M5M
    M5M Member Posts: 185
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    AHA! Excellent invention-in-the-making. Let us know how they work, we may be getting the sewing machine out!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more