Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Combativeness and Agitation Out of Control

My DH was diagnosed with dementia 15 years ago and his decline has been very gradual but very definite. He's been in memory care for a year, cannot communicate and doesn't understand when I ask him to stand up, sit down, take a sip, etc. He is also incontinent. He is extremely combative and agitated with memory care staff resulting in significant bruising on his arms and hands. It takes 2 of them to shower him and sometimes they just can't. Getting him ready for bed is a nightmare as he holds onto his pants with a vice-like grip - still very strong at 6'1" and has a good appetite. He is so very difficult to manage which requires me to be there at bedtime to help manage him. I have also been with him at lunchtime every day but am realizing I can't continue to be there twice a day every day. I am bone weary and grieving the loss of him brain cell by brain cell. He was always a mild mannered easy going guy - I miss that person with all my heart. I am a widow whose spouse is still alive.

Wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to manage these combative shower and bedtime behaviors. In the morning he gets Seroquel, methadone (for severe arthritis), and Lasix. Bedtime he gets higher dose of Seroquel, Melatonin, Methadone, Trazadone and Ativan. Even when given Ativan before showers, he is still very combative. I would be very grateful for any suggestions. Thank you and may God help us all.

Comments

  • Eloise0304
    Eloise0304 Member Posts: 110
    100 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    My husband is combative and aggressive and won't listen to me if I ask him to do anything, and the shower time is the most combative of all, Ativan does nothing. I have no clear suggestions, but saw your post and wanted to let you know that I am experiencing the same behaviors

    Altho he is lucid most of the time so I still struggle and want to take him home

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 530
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    We’re nearing the end of Stage 5, moving into stage 6 and my DW has largely been compliant so far, though her sundowners were something else until we ramped u her medications.

    I feel like I have a rather unique geriatric psych. He has prescribed Gabapentin to help manage my DWs anxiety and agitation. It makes her sleepy and pretty darn compliant. I’ve never seen anyone else here giving their LOs this medication, but it seems to be working for us so far.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,954
    Legacy Membership 1,000 Likes 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Ativan can have a paradoxical effect on some older adults and cause agitation and aggression. It is best to consult a geriatric psychiatrist for medication to handle behaviors related to dementia.

    Iris

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 4,623
    Legacy Membership 1,000 Likes 2500 Comments 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    edited August 27

    Adding to Iris;

    Ativan (lorazepam) can cause or increase feelings of anger, agitation, and aggression through several mechanisms, including paradoxical reactions, dependency and withdrawal, and emotional blunting

    . While Ativan is typically prescribed to reduce anxiety and promote calmness, some individuals experience the opposite effect. 

    My husband could not tolerate Ativan! Please have his Dr change this med.

    Please check with drugs.com for interactions.

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 67
    25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    My DH also had a paradoxical effect from Ativan and became aggressive and physically violent when the hospital used it to “calm” him. I agree to see if there is improvement if you discontinue it for a week or two.

  • Chammer
    Chammer Member Posts: 205
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    @Dio 's DH dealt with significant aggression and agitation and he greatly improved with a change in meds. Hopefully she will see this and let you know what that cocktail is.

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 122
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    My DH was extremely combative on Ativan and seroquel. He is no longer on those medications. I agree with the advice of having a geriatric physc. evaluation.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 581
    500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    I, too, wonder if he would do better off the ativan (lorazepam). How much seroquel is he on? I have a suspicion that doctors give up on seroquel long before reaching a dose that works. There is one study that shows 100 mg per day is no better than placebo and 200 mg/day is quite effective. My wife's geriatric psychiatrist slowly titrated her seroquel dose up over the course of a year and when she hit 225 mg/day it was magical and has remained so for over 5 months..

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17316169/

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 80
    Eighth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Chammer, do you mind sharing what meds your DH was changed to? Thank you!

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 80
    Eighth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    He takes 100 mg of seroquel in the morning and 200 mg at bedtime. He is under the care of hospice at this time and I'm going to explore these med suggestions with them. Thank you! He is currently in stage 6.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 581
    500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    It sounds like he is on a good dose of seroquel. Good luck!

  • Chammer
    Chammer Member Posts: 205
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    @Daughter of a Marine there is a member here @Dio whose DH struggled with aggression as well. She describes her story in beautiful detail in her profile. The med that brought relief for her DH was depakote recommended by his MC director.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 861
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Member
    edited September 23

    Chammer,

    thank you for remembering my journey!

    @Daughter of a Marine Adding Depakote doens't work for everyone but it's been prescribed for "extremely difficult behavior" in dementia patients. Please check with his neurologist, especially given all of the other meds he's taking. Ativan worked briefly in the beginning for my DH, but even that stopped working. He was weaned off, put back on, and weaned off again. My DH is now on melatonin to help him sleep, donepezil for cognition (although I never saw or understood its effects), and quetiapine/seroquel in addition to depakote. Best of luck in finding the right meds for your DH.

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 80
    Eighth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Thank you, dear friends, for the information you've shared regarding Depakote. My struggle is due to the inconsistency of his behavior. There are days he cooperates with the shower aid and does not resist getting undressed at night. But they are temporary and he always returns to trying to flee the shower while soapy and wet, and to refusing to let us get him undressed at night. He can be sweet and so happy to see me (I'm there every day) and can fight me to getting undressed to the point that i know he does now recognize me. I struggle with the idea of Depakote since his behavior is so inconsistent.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 861
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Member
    edited September 23

    I don't think most PWDs are "consistently" aggressive. My DH only got aggressive during showers, diaper change, changing clothes and taking away his dirty clothes to laundry, and whenever his roommate was in the room at night. It's triggers that we don't quite understand, but he fought tooth and nail, as if he felt people were trying to harm him or just angry that they were invading his space. I hope your DH will begin to stabilize. My DH may be suffering from LBD, which fluctuates more than other forms of dementia. Our experience has been that he'll be in a certain state for a while, a phase if you will, and then move on to a new set of behaviors. However, his aggression and combativeness didn't allow for this "phase" to ride out. People were getting hurt. DH was faced with possible eviction if we couldn't get his aggression under control. Hence, the mcf director insisted that DH got depakote from the neurologist, who resisted but relented due to possible lawsuit given people were getting hurt. Hope the staff at your DH's mcf will know how to help him under these episodes and ride through this phase without incident. When my DH refused to be changed at night, staff just let him be. At least, he was clothed and not running around naked.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more