Running out of money and no where to go!


Hi, new here. 92 year old mother with vascular dementia is running out of money. She is in CA and I am in TX. She is in Independent Living at a facility, has been there almost a year. She is getting lots of home care but it has depleted everything she has. She gets angry, yells and hangs up on me when I try to talk with her about finances as I handle it all. I have called every agency I can think of to get help when I can get through but I keep getting sent to another agency and so on. (County office, Adult protective services, social worker, etc) I finally was able to get Medi-Cal but there are lots of restrictions and requirements. It's crazy I really don't know what to do. I cannot move her to TX.
Comments
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I would have thought medical would be your best option. I’m hoping someone who has been through this can help you. Also, if you haven’t already, post this same question on the General and/or Caring for a Parent forum. There are many adults going through financial problems for parents with dementia.
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This is what scares me. If DH needs a nursing home, all of our savings will be depleted. We wouldn't qualify for Medicaid if we have more than $2,000 savings. In NC where we are, my IRA would be included, and it would be depleted. I thought we had pretty good savings until this horrible disease happened. So I'll keep DH at home as long as possible.
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Please check with the laws in Calif:
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You might try to find an elder care attorney in California to help you navigate the Medi-Cal rules. I would do that asap. Does the AL facility have a Social Worker? Does her doctor have a Case Manager? They can sometimes help you with Medicaid rules in your state.
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If she resides in a county where there is a master care program, she should qualify for medi-Cal and then the mastercare, you do not have to be broke to get this. Also, the facility she is in must take master care, so she may have to move. To see what counties she needs to live in to qualify read below.
Eligibility Requirement
Details
Medi-Cal Member
Must be enrolled in a Medi‑Cal Managed Care Plan supported by Master • Care
County of Residence
Must live in a county where Master • Care offers services
Alameda, Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Contra Costa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Los Angeles, Madera, Marin, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Nevada, Orange, Placer, Plumas, Riverside, Sacramento, San Benito, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Francisco, San Joaquin, San Luis Obispo, San Mateo, Santa Barbara, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Shasta, Sierra, Siskiyou, Solano, Sonoma, Stanislaus, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, Tuolumne, Ventura, Yolo, Yuba.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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