In hospital and medicine
In the hospital they have him on serquel in day and Ativan at night he is on Ativan, at night He keeps trying to get out of bed but is too groggy. He is very upset and keeps saying he wants to come home. But more aware, sort of. How can I calm him or should I leave him alone for now?
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For many PWDs home is a feeling not a place. Wanting to go home may be caused by anxiety. I would give him more time. Talk to the nurse and ask the nurse to tell him he can go home when the doctor says so. That he needs to stay there for now. That sometimes helps.
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Can you please start combining your posts by just adding a comment on a previous post you made when it’s the same topic? You are posting a lot of similar questions/ thoughts multiple times a day and it’s easier for us to keep track if it’s in one discussion. He’s in the hospital/ maybe just have one running conversation while he is in there?
I feel like you are in denial of his/your situation. You’ve been scared for your personal safety yet you don’t want the doctors to treat him with the medications and restraints needed to keep you and them safe. There’s not going to be a solution that treats him with medication that does what you want without affecting him. You’ve been scared for your personal safety but want him brought back home where you will be alone with him and he will return to the same behaviors that you are afraid of. We cannot in good conscience agree with you that it would be safe to do so. We don’t lie to people here.
You’ve been burnt out and want a way out. Yet you don’t want the doctors to place him so you can get that way out while still visiting, advocating for him, etc.
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I agree with QBC - you are obviously conflicted about what you want. Your DH has reached the stage in this disease where he needs to be medicated to keep both you and him safe. You have to leave the medicating to the doctors. They don't always get it exactly right the first time, but through trial and error he will be calmer and able to be cared for. You can't bring him home! It is time to take a step back and let the professionals work with him. Perhaps stay away for a week or two and let him adjust to the new place and then become the caring wife who visits and brings treats!
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Palliative care vs nursing home care
Because of his aggression the DR said a nursing home may not take him and right now and MC wouldn't either have you ever heard of that ?The DR said he will get the social workers to discuss these options with me
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Yes, I have heard of this. He will need to be sent to a geriatric psychiatric unit to get his medications sorted out so that his aggression is contained( reduced, etc). Then placement could possibly be done. Is your spouse a veteran? If so, a veteran’s care facility could be a possibility.
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The hospital tried to see about the geriatric psych hospital but he did not meet their criteria and would not accept him. So the DR here is trying to sort his meds now.
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My father was denied a place in mom's first choice MCF based solely on the potential for behaviors associated with his particular brand of dementia.
MCFs operate a bit like private schools, one is included at their pleasure.
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Tell me again how to tell the hospital that he is Not ready for discharge In a previous post I got advise on what our rights are and what to say but I cannot find that post
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Tell the health care team that you arent able to take DH home as it isn't safe for DH or you. Ensure that social worker or discharge planner/case manager are looped in. Say it over and over and over if needed
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once you have said those words to all appropriate personnel… leave, do not answer your phone - let it go to voicemail and then listen to the messages.
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Tell them you/they do not have a safe discharge plan then do what Quilting brings calm said… I've gone through this once before with my DH and the social worker literally ignored my calls and also ignored messages from the geriatric care manager who was trying to find placement so please be very, very persistent with them. My situation was different then what you are going through but the experience of being ignored/pushed to bring someone home who needs rehab/MC or something else seems to be common to hospital releases.
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What if they want to discharge him to a nursing home, And I feel he needs to get his meds correct to allow for that, first.
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My husband has now been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, still in hospital but the DR said that he might need to see how he does to see what placement would be appropriate for him. He said right now he wouldn't be accepted in a snf because of his condition the way it is. Then they palliative care but I think he needs more help and don't want them to discharge him without a safe place to go. Has anyone had their LO at home with palliative care? And how does that work?
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Now another DR said the lumbar puncture does not diagnose Alzheimer's What a bad thing to tell you
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are you signed up for the patient portal for the hospital? You can look up all of the test results and doctor’s notes.
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That test can not be used alone to diagnose AD.
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I’m still not understanding why he doesn’t qualify for their Geri-psych unit. What criteria is he lacking? Which doctor is telling you this?
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Because there is no expectation that he would get better? I need to push to get the reason
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That is correct. A lumbar puncture can possibly diagnose NPH. Not Alzheimers.
Tell them he cannot come home, as it is not safe for you or for him. Leave the hospital. Do as suggested above, do not answer your phone, listen to voice mails to see that they got the message they need to find placement for him.0 -
Palliative care today, they said it can be done in SNF or hospice or at home? My head is spinning, too much pressure to decide right this minute. Of course he wants to come home, but not like this ,too medicated… I think meds need to be tapered down to see how he really is now, without these drugs in him. What do you guys think. He was not this out of it before the meds…
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Eloise … the meds are what are keeping him calm. Yes they may need to be adjusted, but discontinuing them is only going to return him to the condition he was in before he came into the hospital. Aggressive and unable to be placed in a facility due to the aggression. It’s not like antibiotics that fix a temporary condition and can then be discontinued. I feel like you are in denial as to the reality of what Alzheimer’s and dementia are … a progressive disease that ends in death. Both your lives are regrettably altered in a way that can’t be fixed, but must be endured.
I know that there is a discussion group in the groups tab on this website that has resources to use to get familiar with this disease. The book the 36 hour day. A free PDF called Understanding the Dementia Experience, etc. mentions of Tam Cummings videos.
Please consider a snf while you rest and get your head around your futures. At some point in the future, maybe you can consider hone care … but not at this point.
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Palliative care vs hospice at home?
does anyone remember the discussion where a woman was telling about how her lo was brought home in an ambulance and was was very aggressive when he got home?
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Ditto what Quilting said. He needs this level of medication to be safe. What you are proposing is akin to taking away a kid's glasses because he can ready the blackboard now.
Has he been evaluated for hospice and accepted into care? Hospice services and palliative care are not the same thing. To that end, insurance would fund one service or the other.1 -
Yes they did discuss and are pressuring to make a decision Now and it is just too much. Without the. Current meds I am not sure if he would be back to himself, or if he has to be on meds forever. They talk about SNF and what they do there and what palliative care means but I am so distraught can't remember anything And am beginning to write every thing. They talked about TPN,but that is invasive because it leads to the heart and now his heart rate is too high .
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he will most likely be on some sort of meds for the rest of his life. Nothing can heal what’s happening. It’s all about making him more comfortable which means not having hallucinations, being angry/violent, etc. Whether you want to or not, YOU do have to make a decision. The hospital can’t just wait. They are giving you their opinion on the best solution (SNF) as are multiple people on this site, but you seem unwilling to get off this merry-go-round you find yourself on.
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He will get PPN as opposed to TPN because it is less invasive and can go into the IV that delivers the glucose that he already has in. No
He hasn't eaten for 10 days. Let's see if he perks up. I do know l have to make a choice as to what is next so he can get out of here to a safe spot
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Eloise. You need to make a decision. Remember back how many times you were afraid of your DH. He needs to be in a safe place, given the care he needs. You need to be safe as well. He's not going to get better, its time you think of yourself. Hugs Zetta
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They have him on less meds and PTN, since he hadn't eaten in 10 days. Seems more aware today They are still pressuring me to make a choice for discharge But don't I have a right to see any place they want him to go to before discharge? And what do I say? Thank you all for supporting You guys are all I have
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They want to discharge him… asap. Unless you can immediately go see the place and get back in an hour, seeing it isn’t going to happen. Make a decision for now with the understanding you can pick something else out later. When you can stop thinking in circles and when he is safely somewhere.
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They have him on less meds and PTN, since he hadn't eaten in 10 days. Seems more aware today They are still pressuring me to make a choice for dis
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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