Moving Mom

In a MC room, less is more. Don’t overcrowd the room with furniture or objects. H1235 has given great advice, which I echo. Label clothes, and if there is any item whose loss would upset you, keep it at your home. My parent is in MC. I cycle clothes between the MC room and my home, to keep numbers of things in the closet at MC down.

A favorite item is a digital picture frame that can be set to go off at night. Also some familiar quilts and a few pieces of furniture that are also talking points: “I really like your dresser. I think you bought that at X store in Y town when I was in elementary school.” That sort of thing.

The MCF will have rules for furnishings, and they have a lot of experience helping residents move in and get settled. Ask their advice beforehand.

In my case, I was able to set up the room the day before taking my parent to the MCF. On the move-in day, we went to lunch and then just drove to the place and went in. The staff helped. I still refer to the room as “this apartment you are renting.” It works, and it’s close enough to true.

Don't bring anything that you will be upset if it gets damaged or destroyed. Occasionally as their condition changes PWD dementia can become agitated or decide that they don't recognize people in the photos and or albums and take them apart for some unknown reason.

And give your LO time to get acclimated. The MC where my LO is, asks you to stay away for a week or so in order for them to get used to it.

I can only say, and I say this because you are no doubt feeling upset and possibly guilty, like all of us, MC has been really good for my LO. Not instantly and not always, but by and large. She is treated with kindness and respect, like an independent member of community with individual likes and dislikes whose tastes and wishes should be acknowledged, even now as she is declining. She made friends at the beginning and would confide in me about the goings on, "so and so are sweethearts". She is surrounded by people she kind of recognizes and feels safe. Unfortunately no amount of great care and love can hold back the inevitable decline that comes with the disease and age.