So over this...

Many of us feel or have felt that we hated our spouse as we traveled through this nightmare. It took me a while to get my head clear to realize that I hated this disease and not the person sitting in front of me. I found that my refocus on letting out my hatred for this disease let me feel the sorrow for my wife having to live with it. Once I could accept her as a victim, not the source, it allowed me to undertake the huge burden of her care without as much frustration. I did get help to care for her each day for several hours to allow myself to disconnect and recharge my own brain to keep the focus on helping her, the victim, have as good a day as possible. Getting there was very hard and during the earlier periods when she was more aware and alert, it was most difficult. This is the place where we can let it all out. You are in a safe place here where you can scream it out and not be judged. I did and people here let me and helped me.