Refusing to take meds

Good ideal to eliminate meds that are no longer needed, after consulting DH physicians. I too done the same thing, the only problem I did run into was that some of my DW physicians did not want to. Even though I knew the medication was no longer working (it was part of their money game). So that being said, I took it upon myself to start cutting her back on those meds I knew was no longer working (which involved a long process of weaning her off those meds.) which I was glad I did. Is your DH cognitive to knew you're crushing his meds and putting them in his food? Is he seeing you crush the meds and putting them in his pudding and apple sauce? If so you may have to make sure he is not watching and you may have to switch food also, maybe yogurt, or ice-cream. I had the same problem with DW that you're having with your DH. And yes you're right everything with this disease is difficult.

This has been an occasional hiccup for us as well. Marier's suggestion to walk away and try later has worked. If it becomes a fight, DH will never give in. If I avoid a conflict, keep a happy tone, and drop the subject to try again in an hour, that has worked.

My mom had an undiagnosed UTI at the beginning of her dementia journey. She started refusing her meds because she was sure we were poisoning her. It didn’t matter if we set the pill reminder tray in front of her, or took the pills from the tray and attempted to hand them to her. She would take them if one of her friends or a visiting nurse handed them to her. We had a visiting nurse because the doctors said her health was failing. Eventually a different set of doctors diagnosed her with urosepsis. Once she was treated, we didn’t have any more issues with meds.

We struggled with the meds issue also. Once my dear wife progressed into maybe stage 4, she just decided she was not taking meds any longer. This was after she had started on one med for her dementia but in conjunction with her normal meds. She would pick out select meds and throw them away. Sometimes she would toss them all. Tried crushing and hiding them in pudding, dissolving in drinks, mixing in her food. Tried everything anyone could suggest. My wife, in jest, was psychic. Never let her see us mixing the meds, crushing, dissolving, etc. but she somehow knew and would discard that specific food item or beverage. The caregivers, nurse and I would watch in amazement and try the next trick. In short order nothing worked. Her PCP finally said to drop any and all meds that were not critical. Tried that without success. The hot and miss success with her finally got to much more miss and I stopped the fight. She was advancing, there was no way to stop it and these battles were ruining what little pleasure we still had in our life. Fortunately her PCP understood and finally said do what helps her have the best day she can, she will lose in the end but make the trip as good as it can be for her. As hospice began to need to administer more comfort meds we found an injection of haldol would work when explained as the "flu" shot. Because she would forget quickly, repeating the injection every two week as the flu shot worked. At the end she would allow some crushed meds in her chocolate pudding if I carefully crushed and hide it. By then she could barely notice it any longer. I guess my two cents in this discussion is the conclusion from our PCP, we know the outcome, we cannot stop it nor significantly alter it, let their days be as good as they can be even if foregoing the regular meds hastens the end. Eliminating the med battle allowed me to focus on doing what she enjoyed to make her day as good as it can be.