Too old for this/too young for this

Welcome. Sorry about your spouses’s diagnosis. He’s not in denial. He has Anosognosia—When People Don’t Realize They’re Impaired. He can’t understand he has dementia. Sadly there is no treatment. It’s a progressive disease. If it’s early onset there may be trials but there are side effects and it doesn’t sound like he would agree to that anyway. The trials may delay progression by a few months at most. Learn all you can about the disease so you can help him. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which was recommended by a nurse. Search online for dementia caregiving videos. Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow have good ones. Get your legal affairs in order. Meet with an Elder Care Attorney right away. You will need DPOA, Medical POA and HIPPA forms. Just tell him you’re getting yours done and take him with you. Do not tell him it’s because of his diagnosis. Here’s a chart of the 7 stages of dementia that lists behaviors. Some behaviors may show up later in a different stage but it will give you a general idea. This forum is the best place for help and support.

Just a few thoughts. When my wife was diagnosed over 9 years ago the treatment they prescribed was a medication (Donepezil). We were told that it helps some people for a while. I couldn't tell if it made any difference, and I know they have come up with other medications since then, but all any of them can do is slow things down for a while, and from what I have heard a lot of the newer ones can also have some bad side effects. After my wifes diagnoses we talked about it once or twice but after that I never used the words Alzheimers or dementia. We did acknowledge that her memory was not very good and anything else I just "volunteered" to do or help do the things I could tell were difficult for her. Most doctors seem to be very reluctant to try and talk about stages, I think they know that in a few office visits they can't really give a fair assessment of the stage and they don't want to say something that might come back on them. I have been on this site for over a year and I still don't know all the abbreviations but there is a list of the common ones in the upper right corner of this page. I don't post a lot but there are a lot of people here that have good information so keep coming back. Also make sure you have a DPOA durable power of attorney and other legal documents.

OMG you sound just like I did when my significant other first announced he was experiencing memory issues.

I hahad been over 2 years now and I have learned a lot. That is the BEST thing you can do for yourself and for your partner.

I am trying to refrain from using the abbreviations here to help you as well. Research and educate yourself. I purchased a couple of books to read and I started journaling for myself to keep a record and also as a form of release for myself.

I also felt at first that my partner was in denial, but it is not that, it is a brain disease, he is ill. He is not on any medication other than normal B complex supplement and some L-carnitine and choline & inositol. He still works part time. We are retired and full time RVers. We work host at RV parks in the summer months and relax in the winter months. I promised him that I would take care of him and not force him to doctors and I am honoring that promise. I have noticed a gradual decline the past two years, the biggest being that we no longer can have wonderful conversations like we used to.

I have learned that most importantly I need to take care of myself emotionally and physically otherwise I can not take care of him. I have a caregiver support group in our winter location but NOTHING in our summer location. I find it is important to have "me" time even if it is an hour in the evening alone watching what I want on TV.

I have watched so many You Tube videos and they have helped, this is a journey I would not wish on anyone but it "is what it is" and I am doing the best that I can. Some days good some days need improvement for sure.