Another Step Down

Biggles · September 18

I can’t rant, my compassion and love for my DH is too deep but I just need to talk to those that understand. I had a friend say to me yesterday if you ever need to rant just call, so kind of her but I don’t need to rant I need to cry sometimes I’m just so sad about this debilitating disease. We have this wonderful disability sailing group it’s fun and laughter social sailing 16’ dinghies I skipper and take my DH and others sailing. I love it and now my DH is refusing to go says he doesn’t want to go anymore. We had a major discussion ha ha for my benefit and I’m now trying to organise a carer for him so I can still go. I guess it’s inevitable but he is getting harder to take out he doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything, sleeps a lot and is happy if he’s doing nothing watching repeat sailing utubes or movies. This has been a slow moving VD probably 7 years, but I think this is another step down. So sad.

RetiredTeacher · September 18

It is sad. I empathize with you. My DH has VD too and the cognitive decline has been much slower than I expected but his physical decline is a much faster progression. There are times I wish my husband would sleep more...

cdgbdr · September 18

I'm so sorry. I do hope that you can continue to go sailing. It is so good for you, and yes, it sounds like progression. Come here whenever you need to.

annie51 · September 19

I can so relate (not to the sailing, which really sounds wonderful), but to giving up things we used to love to do together. Ski trips, pickleball, weekly cycling group, kayaking, ice skating, the list goes on. We were so active before, now it’s only very slow walks and occasional bowling. I hope you do continue to go sailing for YOU!

SDianeL · September 19

so sorry. It’s so hard when the progression takes another thing from us. Please continue to do what you love. I believe he would want that for you. Hugs. 💜

Biggles · September 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/253917#Comment_253917

Thank you that gives me encouragement to push on. Hard isn’t it.

Biggles · September 19

Maru · September 19

Sympathy for you…for all caretakers. My daughter keeps saying Dad needs to socialize more, but he doesn't want to. Like any relationship, you have to pick your battles, although there is not battleing with someone with dementia, you can just encourage, trick and sometimes lie. feeling for you.

howhale · September 20

What I like about this site and forum is that we can feel free to say what we want to say without regard for someone trying to correct us or rationalize our comments. We don't need that, we live in this horror and know better than anyone how irrational it is. We know it is not our loved one but the disease, but that may not relieve all that we feel and struggle with day to day about something which we cannot change or influence. So, having said that and loving that this is a safe place to open up I just want to say,

"I HATE THIS DISEASE AND WHAT IT TOOK FROM MY DEAR WIFE"

Thanks.

Another Step Down

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