Feeling useless.

My DH has VD from strokes, memory is still pretty good but very flat affect, is sedentary and doesn't initiate anything. He wants for me to tell him what we are doing today, where we are going, etc. I keep asking what he wants to do today, where he wants to go and what he wants to eat. Same answer everytime, I don't know. I'm not sure why I keep asking…probably hoping to have a conversation like we used to. I need to take charge, be in control and make all the plans. I miss the partnership we used to have and the discussions....but that ship has sailed. I now plan the errands we need to do and tell him where we are going. I plan dinners with healthier ingredients, things I want to eat and he eats them. We have to realize we are in this alone, the captains of our ships and our co-captains can't help us anymore.

Sounds just the same as my DH. I have to call all the shots on everything, it’s just the way it has to be to make my life liveable and not be stressed or frustrated with it. It started when I had to do all the driving now about 5 or 6 years ago, I wanted to be taken out to dinner or to the movies, I realised if I didn’t drive we wouldn’t be going, I thought that was hard and here we are, me making every single decision. It’s empowering now I’ve accepted it. I try to make decisions with love and happiness, most times with my DH front and centre. We have always had a peaceful existence and that is what I want to continue. My suggestion is think for him don’t give him too much choice they can’t reason anymore. Take care.