New here.Very stressed and heartbroken

Angel w · October 11

My mom was diagnosed over 3yrs ago but is declining more each day. I went to see her and she took all the family pictures off the walls and moved all her clothes I had to put them back on walls and rehang the clothes. She didn't remember my brother's name and was saying my little sister almost got hit by a car, she often says she has a cold and starts talking weird. Last week she said I slapped her in her face even though I didn't even see her. Yesterday was the hardest and I just cried when I left her because I can't help her and I can't stop this or fix it. Can anyone relate? I need people to talk to more than ever

harshedbuzz · October 11

@Angel w

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Is you mom home or in a facility?

If it's the latter, this is very common. PWD want to return "home" and will pack up all their things in anticipation. If it was distressing to her for you to rehang them, perhaps you should take them home.

If it's the former, she may be struggling to recognize the faces as family. At a certain point in dad's dementia, he processed photographs as people spying on him. Mirrors and reflections in windows can also be an issue for some.

Her memories sound conflated. This is when something did happen, maybe even on TV, but she's hazy on details.

HB

SDianeL · October 12

welcome. So sorry you are going through this with your Mom. Yes, we can all relate. Anxiety causes her to want to go home. Home is a feeling not a place. Agree with HB not to hang pictures back up. Let the staff put the clothes away after she goes to sleep if it upsets your Mom. Your Mom is having hallucinations and delusions which are common in PWD. Ask her doctor for anti anxiety meds if she’s not already on them. If she is on them ask about a different type or dose. It is heartbreaking to watch your LO struggle. We’re here for you. Hugs. 💜

Anonymousjpl123 · October 12

yes it’s heartbreaking to see our parents decline/change and lose hold of the memories and recognition that ground us. It’s a day by day kind of thing, grief, in these situations. You may find some days are much better than others. I have had periods where I thought my mom was doing great, followed by her losing cognitive abilities I never thought she would. I found her one day writing a letter, so serious, and I looked at it and it was 3 or 4 letters over and over like heiroglyphics and I was filled with sadness. Today, she was in great spirits. It’s going to go up and down. Glad you found this site. It’s a wonderful community and yes, we all relate.

psg712 · October 13

My mom struggled with family photos on her dresser. Several times I came in to find them turned face down. She took one framed photo off the wall and set it on the floor. That lasted for a short time. Now she leaves them alone but pays little attention to them. Strangely, when asked, she can usually identify my late dad in the photos but not the children and grandchild that she still sees regularly. It's sad but common. Hugs for you.

Deborah Rose · October 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255902#Comment_255902

Thank you for posting. I am heartbroken for my Mom and what she is experiencing. For me, I am losing her, my best friend, piece by piece a day at a time. The words "ground us" struck me; in each day of my grief I feel less and less grounded.

Deborah Rose · October 17

I can relate! I am sorry WE are going through this.

New here.Very stressed and heartbroken

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