🤯😠😩😤🤬 Lost it today 😢

You are human. With wants, needs, frustrations, physical limitations ( such as a need to sleep) etc and patience that is stretched to its limits. It happens to all of us. Just try again tomorrow. It’s all any of us can do.

I hope you can give yourself a break, because we all have been there from time to time. I reached that point recently and said the exact same words, "Just leave me alone!!" I said I am not going to pretend anymore that it's normal for you to ask me the same questions hundreds of times a day.
We get fed up and reach the limit of our ability tolerate the stress, hostility and ambiguous loss.

Nothing prepares you for the ongoing stress of this disease. Struggles to stay emotionally stable are typical and hopefully you will give yourself grace about the fact that you are doing your best in a very tough situation.

Please be gentle with yourself. The stresses and constant demands of being a caregiver are difficult on even the best days. One thing I do that helps lessen the tension is that I choose my battles carefully. I don’t push it when he wears the same clothes for a few days, and I don’t restrict sweets. My husband is probably late stage 4, early 5. I do anticipate things will get more challenging as his disease progresses.
~Eve

I am new with my hubby’s diagnosis. Brought him home last week and have sitter at night so I can try to sleep. So far that is working and a bit cheaper. But tapping finances quickly. I appreciate the plan B preparation.

does anyone have more guidance for how to develop the plan B?

Sharing: I found this info from Mother Theresa and find direction and comfort from it.
Prayer faith and mental illness mother Teresa

https://twobecomefamily.com/all-articles/encouragement-from-st-teresa-of-avila-for-anyone-with-a-mental-illness

Encouragement From St. Teresa of Avila For Anyone Struggling With A Mental Illness

OCT 15 

WRITTEN BY RENZO ORTEGA

Today is St. Teresa of Avila’s Feast day. She is a Doctor of the Church, a mystic, and patron Saint of headache sufferers.

She also had incredible insight into what is was like to experience mental health issues while trying to maintain an active, vibrant prayer life.

St Teresa of Avila never wrote the word “depression”, but often uses the phrase melancholia in her writings. Though she was not speaking as a mental health expert in her time, melancholia isrecognized by the DSM-V as “a specifier for Major Depressive Disorder”, so a person would be diagnosed as having major depressive disorder (the broader illness) with melancholic features (the specific symptoms). 

If you know of someone, or are that someone, who struggles with a mental illness, I believe this is some of the encouragement St. Teresa would give to you as you continue to strive for holiness and wholeness in the arms of Christ.

1) Its’ Not Your Fault, Do Your Best

“[…] There are occasions when one cannot help doing this: times of ill-health, especially in persons who suffer from melancholia; or times when our heads are tired, and, however hard we try, we cannot concentrate; or times when, for their own good, God allows His servants for days on end to go through great storms. […] The very suffering of anyone in this state will show her that she is not to blame, and she must not worry, for that only makes matters worse, nor must she weary herself by trying to put sense into something—namely, her mind—which for the moment is without any. She should pray as best she can: indeed, she need not pray at all, but may try to rest her spirit as though she were ill and busy herself with some other virtuous action.” - (The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila)

2) Your Mental Health Struggle Doesn’t Define Your Holiness

“Since I began to speak of these dwelling-rooms I have him constantly before my mind, for we are exactly like him; this very frequently produces the great dryness we feel in prayer, though sometimes it proceeds from other causes as well. I am not speaking of certain interior sufferings which give intolerable pain to many devout souls through no fault of their own; from these trials, however, our Lord always delivers them with much profit to themselves. I also except people who suffer from melancholy and other infirmities. But in these cases, as in all others, we must leave aside the judgments of God.” - (Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila)

3) God Is Present In Your Darkness; Keep Praying

“Do Thou, O Lord, take into account all that we suffer in this way through our ignorance. We err in thinking that we need only know that we must keep our thoughts fixed on Thee. We do not understand that we should consult those better instructed than ourselves, nor are we aware that there is anything for us to learn. We pass through terrible trials, on account of not understanding our own nature and take what is not merely harmless, but good, for a grave fault. This causes the sufferings felt by many people, particularly by the unlearned, who practise prayer. They complain of interior trials, become melancholy, lose their health, and even give up prayer altogether for want of recognizing that we have within ourselves as it were, an interior world. We cannot stop the revolution of the heavens as they rush with velocity upon their course, neither can we control our imagination. When this wanders we at once imagine that all the powers of the soul follow it; we think everything is lost, and that the time spent in God’s presence is wasted. Meanwhile, the soul is perhaps entirely united to Him in the innermost mansions, while the imagination is in the precincts of the castle, struggling with a thousand wild and venomous creatures and gaining merit by its warfare. Therefore we need not let ourselves be disturbed, nor give up prayer, as the devil is striving to persuade us.” - (Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila)

I was on welfare with 4 kids at one point in my life. There were many blessings from walking through poverty and I know if I have to face it again there will be new blessings. During that time I tried to continue to give to others even if I was just to pray for them. It helped me to accept the generosity from others rather than feel guilty and ashamed.
I am very grateful for this group and appreciate you each taking the time to share your trials, solutions, and “full selves”.

JC I guarantee there's not one caregiver on this forum who hasn't lost it or is fixing to lose it. That's our world, day in and day out stress. Even on the good days it can be stressful. Your okay, just find some time to get by yourself, pull yourself back up and get back into the fight. Yes fight, we caregivers are in a fight not just for our LO's but for ourselves. Hopefully when this is all over we have some sanity left in us. Hang in there JC.

All of the above! Welcome to the club, you’re in good company here! There is an inverse relationship between exhaustion and patience. Be kind to your self- very important ! Know you are not alone- sending hugs!!!

Oh, you are definitely a strong person. You're caregiving someone with dementia, the very definition of strength. Even strong people get bent low by hurricane-force winds, though.

Big hugs.